Even When You’re A Strong Woman, Being Single Can Suck

Sometimes it’s hard to be single as a strong woman because you realize love isn’t everything. You realize entering a relationship won’t magically make all of your problems go away. You realize there are more important things for you to be worried about than how many matches you’re getting on Bumble or whether a certain boy texted you back yet.

You feel guilty every time you look at a couple and wish you had what they have, because you feel like you aren’t supposed to feel lonely. You feel like you’re not allowed to complain about being single because it would make you look weak and insecure and needy.

You’re a strong woman. You aren’t someone who needs a man. But sometimes, a man would be nice. Sometimes, you daydream about how comforting it would be to hold hands with someone, fall asleep next to someone, get married to someone.

You’re allowed to be honest about the way you’re feeling. You’re allowed to want a relationship. You’re allowed to experience loneliness. You’re allowed to admit the single life is hard for you sometimes.

Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you’re emotionless. It doesn’t mean you’re against the idea of relationships. You don’t have to pretend you’re having fun being single when you would rather be in a committed, loving relationship. You don’t have to lie in order to come across as independent. Admitting you’re looking for a relationship doesn’t make you any less strong. You don’t have to hide what you want. You don’t have to apologize for what you want.

Even when you’re a strong woman, being single can suck. Staring at a blank phone can suck. Going on date after date that leads nowhere can suck. Being the only one you know without a boyfriend can suck. Wondering whether you’re going to find someone in the future or spend the rest of your days alone can suck.

You might be happy to have the bed to yourself and extra time to focus on your career, but there are bound to be moments when you’re less than thrilled about your relationship status — and that is normal.

Just like there are beautiful parts of relationships and sucky parts to relationships, there are beautiful parts about being single and sucky parts about being single. You don’t have to glorify your situation. You don’t have to hold back your emotions. Voice your opinion. Speak your mind. Complain to your friends on the phone. It’s okay.

There are going to be days when you are happy you’re single and days when you kind of wish you weren’t single. You shouldn’t feel like an imposter when those latter days arrive. Wanting a relationship doesn’t make you any less independent.

There are strong women who are happy being single, there are strong women who wish they weren’t single, and there are strong women whose opinions on the matter change by the day. It doesn’t matter which category you fall under. It has nothing to do with your strength.