Toxicity is contagious.
When you stay with someone toxic for longer than they deserve, you develop your own toxic behaviors in order to cope. Bad relationships bring out the worst in you. They turn you into someone unrecognizable, someone you cannot stand to look at in the mirror.
That is why you need to get out of your toxic relationships as soon as possible. No more waiting. No more second guessing. You need to get out for the sake of your own mental health, for the sake of your own growth.
When you date someone who cheats on you again and again, someone who cannot be trusted, someone who makes you wonder if they are actually going to come home that night, you become a paranoid mess. You start snooping through their phone to see if they have been texting their exes. You start guessing email passwords to see who they have been messaging. You start grilling them about every girl they interact with in person and over social media because you are convinced they are going to hurt you again. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.
When you date someone who turns everything into an argument, who gets mad at you over the smallest mistakes, who cannot have a simple conversation with you without raising his voice, you start censoring yourself. You decide against telling him exciting stories about your day because he might get jealous. You hide shopping bags, even though you used your own money, because he might get mad. You delete your most innocent texts. You erase your harmless search history. You become someone sneaky, someone who lies, someone who tiptoes around the truth. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.
When you date someone who is obsessed with drama, someone who thinks jealousy is romantic, someone who starts fights for the fun of it, you are going to get used to the arguments. You are going to scream back. You are going to say things you regret. You are going to assume it’s normal to get into screaming matches every other day of the week. You are going to get as addicted to the drama as your person. You are going to mistake comfort for misery and fighting for passion. You should have left him, but you stayed, and you turned into someone you don’t recognize anymore.
Even though you want to fight for your person, staying in a toxic relationship out of love is the worst thing you can do. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to start fresh.
The wrong relationships will turn you into someone you don’t recognize — but if you get out now, you can change your bad behaviors. You can work on your trust issues, your abandonment issues, your commitment issues. You can reach a healthy place again. But you have to put in the work. You have to make the decision to leave, to forgive yourself, to better yourself.