When you love someone, you don’t think twice about texting them when you wake up in the morning or inviting them over once work is over or planning a fun date to take them on over the weekend. You do those things on instinct. You treat your person right because they matter to you. The alternative is not even an option in your mind. You would never dream of neglecting them. Making them wait for a text or canceling plans at the last second would mean you get to spend less time together — and that would be as painful for you as them.
When you love someone, putting effort into the relationship does not feel like a chore. Calling them on the phone so you can calm them down during a breakdown and driving an hour to their house so you can hang out are not activities you consider a burden. You like doing those things even though they are inconvenient. You are more than willing to alter your schedule for your person. You would do anything for their sake.
When you love someone, spoiling them is on your to-do list. You don’t need them to give you a nudge to send flowers or wrap jewelry. You don’t wait until they start huffing about how you never do anything romantic to start putting effort into your relationship again. You will do cute things for your person without any pressure or ultimatums. You will make them feel special because you came up with the idea. You will spoil them rotten because it makes you happy to see them happy.
When you love someone, you actually enjoy exerting effort. You don’t moan about every nice act you commit. You don’t carry their bags around the shopping mall, but whine about how you are missing your favorite show the entire time. You don’t agree to see a concert with them, but grumble about how it’s not your kind of music the whole time. Complaining about the kindness cancels out the kindness. It makes your effort feel a lot less special.
When you love someone, you do not expect to be rewarded for your effort. You do not expect sex or a meal or even a pat on the back because you did a good deed. Even though appreciation would be appreciated, you do not treat your person well in the hopes of earning brownie points. Your reasons are pure. You aren’t acting loving and attentive because you are worried your partner will leave you otherwise. You are acting loving and attentive because your person deserves the best sides of you. They deserve all the happiness in the world.
When you love someone, you will find enough time and energy to make a conscious effort. You might have to make sacrifices along the way — from turning down a second night out drinking with your friends to missing a work event for an anniversary — but it will feel worth it to you because your relationship is a priority. Your person is a priority.