Stop apologizing like you are the one in the wrong. Do not let him treat you like the villain when he screwed up. Do not allow him to twist the situation. Do not allow him to get angry at you when you are supposed to be angry at him.
Stop apologizing to toxic boyfriends because you did not do anything wrong.
When he screams at you for giving him an attitude, do not blame yourself for provoking him. When he cheats on you, do not blame yourself for turning down sex too many times in a row. When he gets into an argument with a guy who looked at you for a little too long, do not blame yourself for showing too much cleavage.
His mistakes are not your fault. His actions are his actions. You are not responsible for the shitty decisions he makes — and you certainly do not owe him a sorry for causing his meltdown.
Claiming his love for you is the reason he exploded is an easy way shift the blame. It is a way to excuse his behavior, to make him feel like less of an asshole.
If he cannot control his temper, that is not your fault. You should not ditch friends, wear extra layers, and quit your job in order to please him. You should not start walking on eggshells around him. You should leave him.
In a healthy relationship, couples talk about their problems in a mature, respectful way. They communicate. They compromise. They express their feelings without spitting and screaming and slamming doors.
Stop apologizing to toxic boyfriends. Stop settling for toxic boyfriends.
You deserve better. Do not believe his lies about how you will not find anyone else who deals with your bullshit. Do not believe his boasts about how he loves you deeper than anyone else will. Do not believe a word that falls from his lips because he has already proven he cannot be trusted.
You know you need to leave, so stop hesitating. Stop getting distracted by his good qualities. He might make you laugh until your stomach aches. He might spoil you with home cooked dinners and back massages. He might look at you like you really matter. He might have been the only one there for you when you were going through the toughest time of your life.
He might be a good guy deep down, he might not be all bad, but that does not mean he is a good boyfriend. It does not mean your relationship is healthy. It does not mean you should stay with him.
Break up with him. Delete him from social media. Change your number. Change your locks. Do whatever you have to do to remove him from your world because you should not be manipulated and abused any longer.
In the right relationship, you will not be screamed at, guilt tripped, and blamed for every minor inconvenience. You will not feel like every move you make is the wrong one.