Finding Your Forever Person Is Not The Key To Happiness

Finding Your Forever Person Is Not The Key To Happiness

Just because you are lucky enough to stumble across the love of your life does not mean your life is perfect. It does not mean your problems are gone. It does not mean you suddenly feel complete.

Being single does not equate to being lonely and miserable. Just like being in a relationship does not equate to feeling happy and fulfilled.

You can be dating your forever person and still feel empty. Lost. Like you are falling behind.

Having a boyfriend who loves you and respects you will bring you a certain level of comfort — but it will not automatically make you happy. A relationship will not erase your insecurities. It will not make your baggage disappear. It will not turn you whole.

Even after you find your forever person, you are still going to feel flawed. You are still going to struggle. You are still going to endure bad days, moody days, I-cannot-take-this-for-much-longer days. 

It does not matter how much you love your person. It does not matter how healthy your relationship is. You can suffer from sadness and uncertainty — even though you have already found your forever person. Even though you have every reason to be happy. Even though you have someone willing to stand by your side through it all.

You should not feel guilty about caring about more than your relationship. You are not greedy for wanting a forever person and a thriving career, and a close-knit group of friends, and a happy family.

Your relationship should not be the center of your universe. It should not be the only thing you give a shit about. It should not be the sole reason for your happiness or your depression.

Stop putting unnecessary pressure on your relationship. Stop assuming you should be happy twenty-four seven just because you have found your forever person.

Being sad does not mean you are with the wrong person. It does not mean you are broken. It means you are a human with complex emotions.

You are allowed to cry your eyes out from stress, even if you are dating your best friend. You are allowed to complain about how much you hate your life, even if parts of your life are perfect.

You are allowed to be upset. You are allowed to have problems. Anyone who tells you otherwise — who implies you do not have a right to complain because at least you have found your person — does not understand the way the world works.

Finding your forever person is not going to magically make you happy. It is not going to magically make you love yourself. It is not magically going to take away your pain.

Even once you find your happily ever after, you are still going to have issues. You are still going to wonder about your place in this world. Love is not a cure to your unhappiness.

You have to understand dating your forever person does not automatically make your life complete. Finding love does not mean you are done experiencing sadness.

Finding your forever person is not the key to happiness. It is only a stepping stone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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