The Reason Why They Ghost And Then Come Back

The Reason Why They Ghost And Then Come Back

They like talking to you — but not every single day.

They like flirting with you — but not exclusively with you.

They want to hang out with you — but only on their terms, only on their timetable.

These people want power. They want control. They want to be the ones in charge.

There ghost you, they make you feel invisible, like you are unworthy of a glimpse of their attention — and then they come crawling back like nothing ever happened.

Why? Because they can. Because you will take them back with open arms. Because you will be so excited about hearing from them again that you won’t demand an answer from them.

You might have been wondering where they went for weeks, you might have sworn you would never speak to them again, but as soon as they text you, your tune changes. You forgive them without incentive. You missed them so badly you lower your standards to allow room for them in your world.

You are accidentally giving them permission to ghost again. You are showing them there aren’t any consequences for treating you like a second choice. You are letting them know it’s okay to push you around as long as they come back and compliment you some more.

Their excuses about ghosting you are inauthentic. They are bullshit. But they will never consider them lies. Technically, they were busy. Technically, they are sorry they kept you waiting for such a long time. Technically, they didn’t do anything wrong.

But in reality, they would have set aside time to text you if you mattered to them. They would have given you updates, even if they were short and sweet. They would have lost sleep to talk to you. They would have tapped out messages during their lunch break with a sandwich in one hand and their phone in the other.

If they cared about you as much as you have always cared about them, they wouldn’t have ignored two of your texts. Three. Four. They wouldn’t have skimmed past your posts without being tempted to message you.

If they had strong feelings for you, they wouldn’t have placed you on the back burner, they wouldn’t have treated you like their plan B, they wouldn’t have chosen to cut contact with you.

Someone who cares about you will go out of their way to see you. They will call you to hear your voice. They will count down the moments until they hear from you again. They will be as eager to text you as you are to text them.

If they keep ghosting you, coming back, and ghosting you again, then there is probably someone else. There is probably someone filling your place, keeping it warm until you become the main interest again.

Even if you are the only one, even if they have never wanted anyone except you, you deserve someone who stays. Not someone who flees when the mood strikes. Not someone who has trouble sticking around because of their baggage.

Stop settling for ghosts, because even if they reappear, it’s only a matter of time until they fade away again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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