Mixed Signals Are Not Enough

Mixed signals are not good enough for me. I am not going to hand you my entire heart when you have only been scattering breadcrumbs for me to scoop up.

I am not going to keep hanging onto the hope of getting into a relationship with you if you only pay attention to me every few days, if you pick and choose when you act like I matter, if you are not straightforward about your feelings for me.

My days of analyzing every conversation and rereading every text are behind me. I am not going to settle anymore. I have too many other things on my plate to dwell on whether someone is going to become my forever or leave after an undisclosed amount of time.

I am not going to chase after someone who sends mixed signals because I deserve more than a maybe. 

I am not going to wait around for you to reach a place where you feel ready to settle down. I am not going to waste my time on someone who might not even decide to date me in the end. Expecting me to sit here, silent and miserable, is unfair.

Mixed signals are not attractive to me. They are not going to make me swoon. You have to do more than send a cute selfie every few days if you want me to stick around because my standards have risen. My expectations have soared.

Instead of getting excited whenever you happen to text me first or compliment me on something sexual, I am going to be insulted. Insulted that you think putting in the minimum amount of effort is enough to win me over. Insulted that you like me enough to play around with my heart but not enough to wrap a chain around it and consider it yours.

I am done getting excited over the slightest hints of affection. I am not going to jump up and down when you decide to give me a sliver of your attention because I deserve it all. I deserve to feel wanted 24/7, not only on occasion.

The next boy I decide to date is not going to send mixed signals meant for me to analyze. He is not going to let me wonder where he stands for even a second. He is going to make me feel loved, adored, and admired. He is going to put all of his effort into our relationship because he won’t want to risk letting me go.

This boy is not going to leave me questioning my own worth. He is not going to shield his feelings for me. He is going to be open and honest. He is going to pin his heart to his lapel, right where I can watch it beat.

My standards have finally risen because mixed signals are not enough. Random texts scattered throughout the month are not enough. Late night invitations over are not enough. I need more than half your heart. I need the whole thing.