When You Get Over Him For Real, You’ll Know It

There were a million times when I swore I was over you, when I promised myself I would never deal with your bullshit again, but then you liked one of my photos or sent a text and I fell right back to square one.

I got used to the cycle of loving you, hating you, loving you, hating you.

There was a time when I wondered whether I was ever going to get over you, whether it was possible to stop caring about someone who made such an impact on my heart.

I tried everything back in the beginning. I erased you from my phone. I gobbled ice cream. I watched sappy movies. I flirted with other boys. I kept myself busy. I cut my hair. I worked hard to keep you off my mind, but you still managed to find a way to sneak inside.

I wasn’t sure if time would help heal my heart. I wasn’t sure if I would ever get over you. But I was wrong.

It took much longer than I would have liked but I can finally say I am finished with you. I am done wishing for a reconciliation. I have made peace with the way things ended between us. I am not going to fight for you anymore, not even in my daydreams.

I know we’re finished for good this time because you are not the first thing I think about in the morning anymore. Most days, you don’t enter my mind at all.

I never look at your social media anymore. When your posts appear on my timeline, I glance the same way I would with any other friend, but I don’t purposely seek you out anymore. I don’t check for your name under the list of views for my stories. I don’t post pictures and hope you see them. I don’t care whether you pay attention to me. I don’t need validation from you.

I never daydream about you anymore. You’ll pop into my head from time to time, but it’s not an everyday thing. It’s more of a passing thought. When I leave the house, I don’t keep an eye out in case you are around. I have stopped hoping to run into you. I have given up on the possibility of giving our relationship a second chance. I realize we belong apart.

I never make playlists of your favorite songs anymore. When music you used to love comes on the radio, I barely even think of you. Lyrics have stopped reminding me of you. Shows have stopped reminding me of you. You aren’t crouched in the back of my mind the way you used to be.

I never replay our memories in my mind anymore. I am having trouble remembering the exact shade of your eyes and I don’t think I would be able to pick out your cologne from a line up. You are slowly being drained from me.

It took me a long time, but I have finally found closure. I am finally over you.