1. Someone with a no work, all play attitude. You do not need a high paying job in order to impress me — but you do need a passion. You need to be working toward something. You need to be taking steps toward growth. I don’t want to date anyone without a direction, anyone who is looking to slide through life without doing any work.
2. Someone who makes his feelings unclear. I am not interested in guessing games. I am not going to guess whether you are going to respond to my text or ignore it. I am not going to guess whether you’ll keep your promises or break them. I am not going to guess whether you like me or whether you only want to sleep with me.
3. Someone with hypocritical ‘rules’ for the relationship. If you get mad when I ignore your texts for a few hours, even though you consistently do the same thing to me, then you are a hypocrite. If you flirt with other girls in front of me, and then become insecure when I do the same to you, then you are a hypocrite. And I don’t deal with hypocrites.
4. Someone who is only half invested. I am looking for a serious relationship, so if you are interested in a casual relationship where you can continue to play the field while kind-of-sort-of committing to me, then you are chasing after the wrong girl.
5. Someone who picks and chooses when to pay attention to me. You do not get to sporadically decide when to answer my texts, when to flirt with with me, when to treat me like an actual human being again. You can either give me your respect all the time or leave my world forever.
6. Someone who thinks the worst of me. I don’t want to date someone who considers my anxiety a bother. I don’t want to be with someone who complains about me to their friends when I cannot hear. I want someone who considers themselves lucky to have met me, someone who appreciates who I am inside.
7. Someone who is too immature to take responsibility for his actions. If you screw up, I want you to admit it and apologize. I don’t want you to make excuses. I don’t want you to tell little white lies to hide what you have done. I want you to be brave and be truthful.
8. Someone who is only nice when he wants something. I deserve attention and affection from my person — and not only when you want something in return from me. You shouldn’t be using your kindness as a bargaining chip. You should be treating me well because it’s the right thing to do, not for selfish reasons.
9. Someone who blames me for his problems. I don’t want you to resent me. I don’t want you to feel like your life would have turned out better if you took another path. I only want to be with someone who believes I am pushing them forward, not holding them back.
10. Someone who tries to control my body. What I wear is my decision. How much make-up I apply is my decision. When I am ready to let you into my bedroom is my decision. I do not want you to pressure me into changing my identity or the pace I move in relationships. I want you to give me the freedom to make my own choices.
11. Someone who makes me doubt myself. I am smart. I am strong. I am worthy of love. If you start to make me think otherwise, then you do not belong in my universe as a friend or as a boyfriend.