Texting You Without Hanging Out With You Means ‘I Don’t Want To Date You’

A girl who has been texting
God & Man

He texts you early in the morning and late in the afternoon, asking how you have been. He repeatedly tells you how much he misses you. He mentions how it has been too long since he has seen you and says you have to grab drinks soon.

From the look of his texts, he has feelings for you. He sends you heart emojis. He calls you cute. He flirts with you like crazy. Whenever you talk, the sexual tension grows stronger.

It sounds like he wants a relationship with you — except you never actually meet up in person.

Whenever you ask if he’s free over the weekend, he has a reason why he can’t see you. During the rare times when he actually agrees to hang out, he backs out of your plans at the last second.

You keep waiting to take your relationship to the next level, but that’s impossible to do when he only exists over text. 

You wish your schedules would line up better. You wish he would rearrange his plans to make time for you. You don’t understand why you have been texting for this many weeks now and nothing has come from it. It just doesn’t make sense. In your mind, he has been sending mixed signals.

But there is a rational explanation for his behavior. He keeps flirting with you over text because he likes you. He likes hearing from you. He likes bantering back and forth with you. He likes the attention you give him.

But he never sees you in person, because he also likes being single. He likes having his options open. He likes keeping you at arm’s length, because he doesn’t want to get too close. He doesn’t want to turn you into his girlfriend, because he isn’t interested in a serious relationship.

He likes you, but he doesn’t like you enough. Not enough to make you happy. Not enough to give you what you need. Not enough to date you.

He only talks to you over text because it’s an easy way to look like he’s putting effort into your ‘relationship’. It makes him look like he is trying hard when he’s really putting in the minimum amount of effort possible.

He’s only been giving you breadcrumbs, but that has been keeping you hopeful, it has been keeping you convinced that a relationship is on the horizon. 

He only talks to you over text because if he decides to date someone else soon, you can’t complain. You can’t accuse him of cheating on you or leading you on because you never even saw each other in person.

He only talks to you over text because he wants you in his world — but only halfway. Only enough so that he doesn’t feel trapped. Only enough so that he stays comfortable.

He only talks to you over text because he doesn’t want the same things you want. He isn’t interested in dating you. He wants to keep things the way they are. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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