She wasn’t trying to be a bitch. To be overdramatic. Overemotional.
She wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings by dropping out of your life. By severing the last connection she still had with you.
She just wanted to be able to scroll through Facebook and Instagram without having reminders of what she has lost. She didn’t want to risk seeing your face when she was in a good mood and then feeling her stomach drop out of nowhere. She didn’t want to watch you live your life without her through photos. She didn’t want proof that you were better off without her around.
She needed you out of sight so that she could get you out of mind. If pictures of your face kept popping up, then she would never be able to forget how much she loved looking into your eyes. If your statuses kept appearing on her timeline, then she would never be able to forget how funny you were. How layered your personality was. How perfect you would have fit together.
She deleted you from social media because she knew that you two would never work as friends. There was too much history there. Too much sexual tension. Too many unanswered questions.
She would have loved to keep you in her life, but it hurt too much. Seeing you hurt. Thinking about you hurt. Everything about you hurt.
Of course, she didn’t want to delete you from social media because she didn’t want to look like she was bitter about losing you. She didn’t want to come across as a bad friend, as someone who couldn’t handle rejection, as someone who was trying to get revenge.
Revenge had nothing to do with her decision. She never wanted to hurt you, to get back at you for failing to see her worth. She only wanted to forget about you. She wanted to move on. She wanted a chance to live her life without you.
She deleted you from social media because it was a way for her to feel like she had control over her feelings for you. She was proud of herself when she erased your name from Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat and her phone — but she had much more trouble wiping thoughts of you from her mind.
If she is being honest, you’re still someone that she thinks about, but she hopes it won’t last if she never checks up on you. If she resists the urge to see where you’re living now, what job you’re working now, who you’re dating now. If she acts like you are a stranger, someone she isn’t meant to see or hear from anymore.
She didn’t delete you from social media because she was mad at you, because she hated you for what you did to her. She deleted you because she liked you too much. Because she needed a break from seeing the one person she wished was still in her life. The one person she wished she never lost.