You broke my heart when you told me that you were not ready for a relationship. Of course, you didn’t tell me this in the beginning of our friendship when it would have been useful to know. You didn’t tell me early enough that I could potentially stop myself from falling for you.
You wanted me to like you. You wanted me to grow attached to you so that I wouldn’t leave when I heard the news — that you only wanted me for sex. You wanted me to stick around so that you could use me whenever you pleased, so that I would be your own personal ego boost. That is why you waited so long to tell me.
I never found out that you weren’t looking for a relationship until after we had already hung out more than a few times. After we had already made it clear that we were interested in each other. After we had already flirted. Already kissed. Already slept together.
You waited so long to tell me for your own benefit. You did it because you are selfish. You did it because you only cared about yourself. You didn’t care what would happen to me. You didn’t care that you were going to break my heart.
You knew that you would hurt me in the end, but you did what was best for yourself anyway. You played a part so that I would climb into your bed. So that you could get what you wanted from me.
It’s not like you made an honest mistake. You were not under the impression that I was interested in one-night stands. I made it clear what I was looking for from you. You knew that I wanted a relationship. A real relationship. Not a casual relationship. Not a friend with benefits. Not a booty call. You knew exactly what I expected from you and made it seem like you wanted the same thing…
Until I started acting like your girlfriend. That is when you decided to tell me the truth. That I was never going to be your girlfriend. That I was only a fun distraction. That I was only a good friend.
If you knew that you weren’t ready for a real relationship when we first started talking, then you shouldn’t have flirted with me. You shouldn’t have led me on. You shouldn’t have made me think that you wanted to settle down with me.
But you wanted all of the good parts of being in a relationship without any of the bad. You wanted someone who would text you back at 2 AM but not someone you felt forced to send good morning messages to when you woke up. You wanted someone who would have sex with you, but not someone who would wake up next to you. You wanted someone who would give you everything you asked for, but didn’t need to be given anything in return.
At first, I was pissed at you, but now I’m glad that you weren’t looking for a relationship. Because I never want to date someone like you.