Don’t ignore the bad in someone just because you love them. Let yourself see their flaws. Don’t stay blind. Look at your relationship from a rational point of view. Notice what needs to be worked on. What can be salvaged and what can never be saved.
Just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to stay together. That doesn’t mean that you fit each other in a healthy, nontoxic way. That doesn’t mean that you need to lower your standards and rearrange your expectations for them.
If someone hurts you, you have to acknowledge what they have done. You can’t wipe the memory from your brain because it’s too painful to relive and pretend like it never happened. You have to accept the truth — even if you love them. Even if you cannot imagine your life without them. Even if you would rather live in a fake fairy tale than the real world.
If someone you love hurts you, you shouldn’t automatically forgive them because they hold a special place in your heart. You shouldn’t give them a free pass, unlimited chances, because the thought of losing them is too much for you to take.
If you do that, you are going to get taken advantage of in the future. You are going to risk staying in a relationship that you never belonged in for this long.
When someone you love hurts you, you have to ask yourself if you would put up with the way they’ve treated you if they were anyone else. Ask yourself if their sin was really forgivable or if you’re going to resent them for it for the rest of your life. Ask yourself if this is going to be the one thing you look back on years from now and consider a red flag that you should have paid more attention to.
Yes, everyone makes mistakes. Yes, you are allowed to give someone another shot. Yes, it is okay to make exceptions for bad behavior when you love someone — as long as you don’t make it a habit and neither do they. As long as the pain doesn’t repeat itself and become part of a cycle.
You don’t want to be stuck with someone who hurts you. Someone who wastes your time. Someone who brings more drama to the table than you have ever wanted and makes you wonder whether all of your effort will ever be appreciated.
It’s easy to stay in a relationship out of love. It’s easy to assume that your feelings are all that you need. But that is bullshit.
You also need respect. Trust. Honesty. Attention. Affection. Communication. You need so much more than love, so don’t stay in a bad relationship just because you love someone. Don’t stay in a relationship that you know is meant to be over.
Don’t ignore the bad in someone just because you have feelings for them. Don’t let yourself become blinded by your emotions.
Stay single until you find the person who actually deserves you. The kind of person who would never dream of hurting you.