Stop Crying Over Someone Who Screwed You Over

It's not your fault for holding a grudge. It's their fault for doing something unforgivable and thinking that they could get away with it, that you would say oh it's okay and go right back to treating them the way that you always have. 

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Girl about to get screwed over
Unsplash / Ryan Graybill

Stop thinking about the person who screwed you over because they aren’t thinking about you. Stop missing the person who screwed you over because they aren’t missing you. Stop caring about the person who screwed you over because they don’t care about you — at least, not enough. Not in the way you are meant to be cared about.

When they shattered your heart, they certainly weren’t thinking about your feelings, so there is no reason to be worried about how they feel now. Don’t feel guilty about cutting them out of your life. Don’t feel like a bitch for being too upset to take the high road and forgive them for all of the bullshit that they put you through.

You aren’t obligated to forgive someone who hurt you. It’s not your fault for holding a grudge. It’s their fault for doing something unforgivable and thinking that they could get away with it, that you would say oh it’s okay and go right back to treating them the way that you always have.

It doesn’t matter how much history there is between you. Even if you walk away, if you make the choice to cut them out of your life completely, you weren’t the one who decided to throw the relationship away. They gave you no choice. They put you into this position.

If they truly valued your relationship, then they wouldn’t have done something so inexcusable. They wouldn’t have crossed that line. Even if they swear they didn’t mean to do it, they knew they were crossing that line. They aren’t stupid. They aren’t two. They knew.

This person was supposed to be there for you. They were supposed to lift you up, not tear you down. They were supposed to encourage you, not discourage you. They were supposed to cause laughter and spark love, not tears.

How are you supposed to trust someone who screwed you over — once, twice, three times? How are you supposed to look past all of the hurt they caused you and act like nothing happened, like they are someone you can always rely on? How are you supposed to have a healthy relationship with someone who is unwilling to give you the same amount of respect you have been giving them?

You can’t accept poor treatment, just because you love the person. You can’t pick and choose when to have low standards, depending on whether you consider the person who hurt you to be replaceable or irreplaceable.

Even if someone is irreplaceable, maybe that means you aren’t meant to replace them. Maybe you shouldn’t allow a replica to walk into your life who is going to treat you like complete shit. Maybe you deserve better than that.

Maybe you should start looking out for yourself instead of worrying about how bad you’ll look if you refuse to forgive this person. Maybe you should do the right thing, do the hard thing, and say goodbye to toxicity.

Maybe you should do what is best for you for a change. Thought Catalog Logo Mark