It’s heartbreaking to hear that the boy you’ve been flirting with, the boy you’ve been in an almost relationship with, the boy you expected to become your boyfriend, isn’t ready for a relationship right now.
It makes you feel like you screwed up somewhere, like you did something to drive him away, like you weren’t good enough for him. And it makes you hate him just a little bit — for leading you on, for telling you how much he likes you, for making you think that something real was going to happen between the two of you.
You don’t understand it. Why would he make you yearn for a relationship with him and then admit that he wasn’t ready for one?
You wish he never used that clichéd phrase — that he’s not ready for a relationship right now. It feels like a lame excuse. Like he’s lying to your face because the truth would be too uncomfortable.
And maybe he is lying. Maybe he’s a coward, too afraid to hand you his heart because it got smashed to pieces in the past. Maybe he’s a fuckboy, trying to string you along for as long as he can get away with it.
Or maybe he’s being honest, maybe he’s really not ready for a relationship.
Maybe he isn’t prepared to give you the love that you deserve, so he’s doing what he thinks is right by turning you down, by giving you the opportunity to date somebody new.
Maybe he’s worried that he’ll hurt you, that your relationship will quickly become toxic if he agreed to be with you, so he’s making the right decision for you both. Maybe he really isn’t ready for a relationship and the effort, responsibility, and trust that it entails.
Maybe a girlfriend would be impossible for him to handle right now.
That doesn’t mean that what he did was okay. That doesn’t mean that he was justified in flirting with you for weeks when he knew that it would never lead anywhere. That doesn’t mean you should wait for him until he is ready, either.
It just means that all of the special moments you shared weren’t for nothing. They might have meant as much to him as they meant to you. He might have liked you as much as you liked him.
But timing is a bitch. Love is a bitch. Sometimes, relationships don’t work out, even if two people truly care for each other. Sometimes, life seriously sucks.
So don’t tear yourself apart when you hear that he isn’t ready for a relationship. Don’t assume that you did something wrong, that if you would have played your cards right then he would have agreed to be with you.
Don’t let those what-ifs plague your mind. Don’t let this rejection claw your heart to shreds.
He might not be ready for a relationship, but there are other boys out there who are. Boys who would be eager to jump into your bed, into your arms, into your heart forevermore.