If He Does These 13 Things, He’s Not Putting Enough Effort Into Your Relationship

Boy who puts effort into his relationship
Unsplash / Lesly B.

1. He takes multiple days to text back. He might be tired in the morning. He might be busy at work all afternoon. But if he cares about you, he’ll find time to answer you, whether it’s during his lunch break or during the train ride home or during a bathroom visit. If he can’t do something as easy as answer your texts, then you can’t rely on him for the bigger things.

2. He makes excuses for everything. If you ask him to pick you up from the airport or run out for some milk, he’ll find a way to get out of it. He should want to do little favors for you, but he always has a reason why he can’t that day. He always comes up with something.

3. You only eat fast food together. You never sit down at a restaurant (even one as cheap as Friendly’s) and have a nice meal together. If you’re hungry, he picks up a hamburger for you instead of taking you out for a romantic night or cooking something alongside you. He always chooses the fastest and easiest option.

4. He avoids serious conversations. If you try to talk to him about marriage or moving in together, he changes the subject or makes a joke. You aren’t sure where he sees your relationship heading, because he never gives you a simple straight answer.

5. He expects you to make all of the plans. Whenever you spend the weekend with him, he asks you what you two are going to do. He never pitches in with any of his own date ideas. He expects you to figure everything out for him. He doesn’t want to take charge, he doesn’t want to do any of the work.

6. He lets the responsibility lie on you. You’re the one who does the dishes. Who washes the laundry. Who buys the groceries. Who walks the dog. Who marks important dates down on the calendar and makes sure every chore gets completed. It’s rare that he lifts a hand to help.

7. He doesn’t take milestones seriously. He doesn’t plan anything special for your anniversary. He doesn’t even buy you anything special. The same goes for Valentine’s Day and your birthday. He never even tries to be romantic.

8. He never apologizes. He never makes compromises, either. As long as he gets his way, he’s happy. He couldn’t care less about your end of the deal.

9. He never includes you in plans. He goes to parties without you. He spends the holidays without you. He never asks you to tag along with his friends or invites you over to have dinner with his parents. You’re living two totally separate lives which aren’t overlapping at all.

10. He doesn’t care about your sexual experiences. Whenever your clothing comes off, he gets what he wants — but you never get what you want. He falls asleep instead of tending to your needs, instead of making sure that you’re both satisfied.

11. He never remembers anything. And it’s because he never listens to anything. Whenever you speak, he nods as if he’s paying attention, but you can tell when you’ve lost his interest. You can tell when he would rather be doing anything else than listen to you ramble.

12. He shows up looking sloppy. No matter what you’re doing or where you’re going, he always wears the same t-shirt and pair of jeans. He never tries to look nice for you. Not even on special occasions.

13. He never feels guilty about making you upset. You’ve had arguments that have gone too far, that have made you burst into tears, and he never even reached out to console you or say sorry. He just gave you the silent treatment or acted like you were being dramatic. He behaved like he didn’t give a damn about you — even though you should be dating someone who feels sick every time they see you cry. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog