You Should Never Feel Stupid For Falling For Someone You Didn’t Actually Date

Unsplash / Allef Vinicius

He almost introduced you to his parents. He almost took you out on an official date. He almost treated you the way that you deserved to be treated.

He almost texted you enough. He almost touched you enough. He almost liked you enough. 

But all of those almosts never added up to anything real. They never led to an official relationship. To the future that you imagined having with him. 

What hurt the most was realizing that you were on two separate pages all along. That you misread every single thing he said and did when he was around you.

You used to think that he understood you, that he valued your late night talks and earl morning coffees as much as you did. You used to think that all of the flirting and playful shoves and cheek kisses actually meant something. 

You used to think that he liked you as much as you liked him.

But apparently, your version of things wasn’t the reality. He didn’t see your situation in the same way that you saw it. He never intended on becoming your boyfriend. It was never part of his plan.

To him, you were an almost. The girl who was almost worth dating. The girl who almost made him want to settle down. The girl who was almost good enough.

But to you, he was never an almost. He was an always. The guy you would always think about in the morning. The guy you would always text when you were in the mood to flirt. The guy you would always gush about to your friends. 

You saw him as a permanent part of your life. But he saw you as a temporary way to pass the time. You saw him as a boyfriend. But he saw you as a stranger. 

Even though it stings to learn that the boy you dreamt of dating never actually wanted you in the same way, you shouldn’t feel stupid.

You should never feel stupid for misunderstanding the signals that he sent you.

You should never feel stupid for giving him so much of your time.

You should never feel stupid for falling for him, even if he didn’t end up falling for you, too.

Even though your almost relationship never developed into an official relationship, even though he decided that he would rather be your friend than your boyfriend, you still shared special moments. You still have happy memories with him.

And those memories belong to the both of you. He’s never going to forget you. He’s going to remember the way you made him laugh, the way you made him feel.

You might not have meant as much to him as you wish you did — but you still meant something to him.

He didn’t have to date you to leave a lasting mark on your heart. And, whether he realizes it or not, you left a mark on him as well. TC mark

Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.

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