Thought Catalog

If He Liked You, He Would Actually Text You Back

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Unsplash / Melan Cholia

You are not clingy for texting him first. You are not clingy for answering him back within an hour of receiving a message from him. You are not clingy for wondering why he hasn’t talked to you in three days.

You are not clingy for giving attention to someone — and for expecting them to return the favor.

If a guy accuses you of being clingy for doing basic things, like asking him to hang out over the weekend and telling him that you really like him, then he doesn’t like you. He doesn’t want to be with you.

If he liked you, then he would be thrilled to see your name pop up on his phone. He would be thrilled to know that you were thinking about him.

If he liked you, then he would be happy that you were willing to rearrange your schedule to talk to him. He would be happy that you took time out of your busy day to pay attention to him.

If he liked you, then you wouldn’t have to wonder why you haven’t received a text back and if you should send him another one. You wouldn’t have to worry about coming across too strong. You wouldn’t be scared about scaring him away.

Unless you’re sending him ten texts in a row, unless you’re expecting him to ditch his friends to hang out with you, unless you’re dedicating every hour of every day to him, you are not clingy.

He’s only calling you clingy, waiting days to answer your texts, and randomly going MIA, because he feels suffocated. Because he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. Because he still wants to have his freedom, to have the chance to flirt with other girls without having to report back to you at the end of each day.

He’s not texting you back, because he doesn’t like you as much as you like him. Because he doesn’t want all of the attention that you’ve been handing over to him.

If he actually liked you, then you wouldn’t even have the chance to seem clingy. You wouldn’t get to send triple texts, because he’d reply right away. You wouldn’t have to keep asking him when you’re going to see him, because he would have an answer the first time you asked.

So if he can’t handle your questions about what he’s doing that weekend, if he can’t send you a simple text, find someone else.

Find someone who doesn’t run away when you admit you’re attracted to them. Someone who doesn’t get scared off when you show them the slightest bit of affection.

Wait for someone who is complimented by how quickly you text back. Someone who is proud that they’re the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last person you think about before you fall asleep.

Wait for someone who realizes sending the first text and initiating the first date doesn’t mean you’re clingy. It means you’re putting in effort. It means you actually care. TC mark

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