Thought Catalog

You Are Allowed To Miss Him

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Unsplash / Lotte Meijer

You are not pathetic for checking his social media to see if he changed his relationship status yet or if he posted a picture with another girl.

You are not pathetic for reliving old memories in your head and trying to pinpoint the moment when it all went wrong.

You are not pathetic for imagining alternate futures where you two ended up together and lived happily ever after.

You are not pathetic for loving someone who doesn’t love you. You are not pathetic for being human, for having feelings. You are not pathetic for being heartbroken.

You might hate yourself for missing him, but it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel the way you feel.

Don’t try to control your emotions. Just let them loose. Because if you try to pretend you don’t care about him, that he means nothing to you, then it will take you even longer to get over him.

Remember, you’re allowed to be upset about him leaving. Even if he was never your official boyfriend. Even if he was an asshole who doesn’t deserve your tears. 

You’re allowed to hate him, even if he claims that he did nothing wrong. You’re allowed to feel like he led you on, even if he swears you’re psycho and are reading too far into things.

You’re allowed to write out texts and then erase them. You’re allowed to imagine how he would respond if you actually pressed send. You’re allowed to make a mistake and actually go through with contacting him.

You’re allowed to worry about whether or not you’re going to run into him at that restaurant he used to take you to. You’re allowed to wonder what he’s doing at that exact moment and whether he ever thinks of you, too.

You’re allowed to wear your best clothes when you know you’re going to see him. You’re allowed to try to make him jealous, to make him miss what he lost.

You’re allowed to stay in bed all Sunday, because you can’t find the willpower to get up and get dressed. You’re allowed to mope around for a few weeks.

You’re allowed to whine about him to your friends. You’re allowed to drink a little too much and cry a little too hard. You’re allowed to break down.

You can be a strong, independent woman — and still be hung up on a boy. Your heartache doesn’t make you lesser. It makes you normal.

Just remember, you are going to survive this. And you are going to come out more confident than you’ve ever been before.

It might take a while, but eventually, you’re going to accept that he’s gone. You’re going to realize that life without him is actually better than life with him.

Eventually, you’re going to move on. But for now, you’re allowed to be upset. You are allowed to miss him. TC mark 

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Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.”

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

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