Thought Catalog

You Are Allowed To Miss Him

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Unsplash / Lotte Meijer

You are not pathetic for checking his social media to see if he changed his relationship status yet or if he posted a picture with another girl.

You are not pathetic for reliving old memories in your head and trying to pinpoint the moment when it all went wrong.

You are not pathetic for imagining alternate futures where you two ended up together and lived happily ever after.

You are not pathetic for loving someone who doesn’t love you. You are not pathetic for being human, for having feelings. You are not pathetic for being heartbroken.

You might hate yourself for missing him, but it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel the way you feel.

Don’t try to control your emotions. Just let them loose. Because if you try to pretend you don’t care about him, that he means nothing to you, then it will take you even longer to get over him.

Remember, you’re allowed to be upset about him leaving. Even if he was never your official boyfriend. Even if he was an asshole who doesn’t deserve your tears. 

You’re allowed to hate him, even if he claims that he did nothing wrong. You’re allowed to feel like he led you on, even if he swears you’re psycho and are reading too far into things.

You’re allowed to write out texts and then erase them. You’re allowed to imagine how he would respond if you actually pressed send. You’re allowed to make a mistake and actually go through with contacting him.

You’re allowed to worry about whether or not you’re going to run into him at that restaurant he used to take you to. You’re allowed to wonder what he’s doing at that exact moment and whether he ever thinks of you, too.

You’re allowed to wear your best clothes when you know you’re going to see him. You’re allowed to try to make him jealous, to make him miss what he lost.

You’re allowed to stay in bed all Sunday, because you can’t find the willpower to get up and get dressed. You’re allowed to mope around for a few weeks.

You’re allowed to whine about him to your friends. You’re allowed to drink a little too much and cry a little too hard. You’re allowed to break down.

You can be a strong, independent woman — and still be hung up on a boy. Your heartache doesn’t make you lesser. It makes you normal.

Just remember, you are going to survive this. And you are going to come out more confident than you’ve ever been before.

It might take a while, but eventually, you’re going to accept that he’s gone. You’re going to realize that life without him is actually better than life with him.

Eventually, you’re going to move on. But for now, you’re allowed to be upset. You are allowed to miss him. TC mark 


A haunting collection of creepy poetry with a beautiful glow-in-the-dark cover, poetry lovers are bound to love this collection written by Holly Riordan. Centered on love, heartbreak, and loss with a candidly morbid twist, Severe(d) is as fun to read as it is to watch glow in the dark!

“This book just arrived and I already read it on my way back home and loved it, some poems even made me tear up, some were too relatable, some made me angry, this was exactly what I needed at this moment. Also, it has cute art all over the book 💀 and the cover GLOWS IN THE DARK! This is one badass book! ❤”—Amelia

“I adored this little book. The collection is very haunting, but anyone who has felt those overwhelming anxieties about life/relationships/waking up in the morning when all you want to do is sleep can find some relation to these poems. Wonderful.”—Shannon

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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

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