Thought Catalog

This Is Why She Gets Upset When It Takes You Forever To Text Back

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Unsplash / Jacob Ufkes

You might feel like it’s not a big deal. It’s just a text. Words on a screen. What does it matter if it takes you half a day to answer her message? Even if you ignore it completely, who cares? It’s a small thing. Something she doesn’t have a right to get mad about.

But she isn’t mad about the text. Not really. She’s mad about what it represents.

When you don’t answer her texts, it shows her where your priorities lie. It tells her that you don’t care about her. You have better things to do, better people to talk to.

If you’re busy with work or are out drinking with your friends or are having dinner with your parents, that’s one thing. She doesn’t mind if you ignore your phone when you have plans. She understands that you have other things to do, that your life doesn’t revolve around her.

But if you’ve been uploading pictures to Instagram and making posts on Facebook and watching her snap stories — but still won’t find the time to answer her texts — she’s going to be pissed.

Because that proves you have no interest in talking to her. That you’ve seen her message, that you’ve actually read the words she typed out to you, and then decided that you would rather ignore it than answer it.

When you don’t answer her texts, it makes her wonder whether you care about her at all.

Maybe you only text her when you’re bored, when you’re lonely, when some other girl ditches you and you want to feel better about yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t even notice if she dropped out of your life, if she stopped sending the first text, if she stopped answering your texts.

Maybe she should stop waiting for your reply and accept that it’s never going to come.

Every time you ignore one of her texts, she slowly pulls away from you. Because she isn’t going to send triple texts. She isn’t going to leave ten voice messages. She isn’t going to force you to pay attention to her.

If you don’t want her, you don’t want her. She can accept that. She can live with that.

Besides, if you can’t do something as small as answer her text, then how can she depend on you to show up on time for dates — or to show up at all? How can she count on you to be there when it matters?

She wants someone she can trust. Someone who makes an effort to talk to her, to make time for her.

So if you don’t text her back, or if you take three days to answer every message she sends you, then eventually she’s not going to text you at all.

She’s going to stop putting time and effort into your relationship — even the minuscule amount of time it would take her to send that text.

Because if you don’t care about her, why should she care about you?TC mark 

Essential Poetry for Women Who Give No Fucks

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.”
James Altucher

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