Thought Catalog

This Is Why You Have No Idea How Badly She’s Been Hurting

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You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of anything. She doesn’t want to turn something small into something major. So she forgives you for things you never even realized she was mad about in the first place. She keeps giving you chance after chance.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she doesn’t want to come across as sensitive or overly dramatic or clingy. She doesn’t want to admit how disappointed she was when you canceled that date or when you texted her in the middle of the night, only because you were drunk and lonely.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she’s perfected her fake smile, her fake laugh. She knows how to look like she’s having the time of her life when she’s secretly dying inside. She knows how to fool you into believing she’s okay.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she waits until you’re gone to cry. Because she has enough strength to put on an act for an hour or two, but as soon as she gets home or into her car or inside of a bathroom stall, she lets her emotions flow.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she doesn’t want you to know that she’s hurting. She wants you to think that she’s fine without you. That you aren’t that important to her. She doesn’t want you to have the satisfaction of knowing you mean the world to her when she obviously means nothing to you.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because you never ask. You never question her about her day or her thoughts or her feelings. You only care about yourself. You only care about your own happiness. You never stop to wonder how she’s been.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because sometimes, even she doesn’t realize it. She ignores her feelings. Pushes them down. Tries to squash them so that they don’t get in her way. So that they don’t cause problems she doesn’t have the time or the energy to handle.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she doesn’t deal with her pain by talking about it. She writes it down in her journal. Blasts music into her headphones. Goes for a run or a jog until she feels okay again.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because whenever she has the urge to text you, she ignores it. Even when she’s dying to talk to you, she pushes past the temptation and focuses her attention elsewhere. She tries her hardest to keep you out of her life.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because she knows that she deserves better than someone like you. She feels stupid for crying over you, for caring about you. She’s trying her best to forget about you.

You don’t realize that she’s hurting, because you’re the reason for all her pain, for all her tears. And she isn’t going to let you keep causing them. TC mark

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