This Is Why The Girl That Looks Like She Has It All Together Feels So Broken Inside

Thought.is

She feels like she’s broken, like she fails at being a person, like everyone has life figured out except for her.

She feels like she’s broken, because she isn’t a people person. She isn’t the type to strike up a conversation with the lady in front of her at the supermarket. She’s the type to avoid eye contact, to pretend like she didn’t notice anyone was talking to her.

She feels like she’s broken, because she has to plan out what she’s going to say before she says it. It doesn’t matter whether she’s ordering a meal at a restaurant or making a phone call, because she has to practice the words in her head again and again before she can say them.

She feels like she’s broken, because she cancels plans with her friends, just so she can sit inside, nap, and watch more Netflix. Just so she can complain to herself about how she has no friends, how they’re probably happier when she isn’t around.

She feels like she’s broken, because she can’t relate to the people surrounding her. Even when she’s in a crowd, she still feels like she’s all alone, because she isn’t anything like them. There’s a separation, there’s something different about her, and she’s worried they can all sense it.

She feels like she’s broken, because dating doesn’t come easily to her. She can’t come up with something clever to say on the spot, whether she’s talking to a cute stranger at a party or sending a message on Tinder.

She feels like she’s broken, because she’s been hurt before. She doesn’t want to put herself out there again, she doesn’t want to give anyone else a chance. She just wants to stay in her room, by herself, and listen to music. She has no desire for heartbreak.

She feels like she’s broken, because sometimes she feels emotions with a terrifying intensity. And other times, all she feels is numb. Nothingness. Like she’s more robot than human.

She feels like she’s broken, because she doesn’t do what girls her age are supposed to do. She doesn’t party. She doesn’t go out on dates. She doesn’t live wild and free like she wishes she could.

She feels like she’s broken, because everyone around her seems whole. Like they know who they are and what they’re meant to do. Like life’s questions don’t keep them up at night.

She feels broken, because whenever she smiles, it feels like a lie. Whenever she laughs, she’s only putting on an act. She’s trying to look like she has it all together, but she doesn’t. Not at all.

She feels like she’s broken, because she hasn’t found anyone else that can understand her, how she’s been feeling and what she’s been going through — but they’re out there. And it’s only a matter of time until she finds them.

It’s only a matter of time until she stops feeling so alone. TC mark 

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