Sparking candles, scattering rose petals, and pouring red wine are sweet gestures, but romance is more than setting the room up with pretty things. It’s more than spending money to impress someone.
Taking her to a five-star restaurant and spending hundreds of dollars is super sweet, but it isn’t as romantic as taking her back to the diner where you had your very first date. Buying her a card with mushy words written inside isn’t as romantic as writing out your own words, even if they sound awkward and clumsy.
As cliche as it sounds, it’s the thought that counts. What matters is that you’re putting in effort. That you didn’t do the first thing that popped into your head. That you thought things through. That you personalized the gift for her — because you know what she likes, what she wants before she even has to ask for it.
Your gesture isn’t as romantic if you did the same thing for every other girl you’ve dated. It’s romantic if it’s meant for her and only her. If there’s a piece that only she would understand, that only she would find sweet.
And it’s romantic when you aren’t expecting anything in return. When you cook dinner for her, because you want to see her smile, not because you want sex. When you stock the cabinets with her favorite candy, because you think she deserves a treat, not because you’re worried about her leaving you if you slack off.
Romance is about giving. About showing her that you care.
You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars in order to make a girl gush. Sometimes, romance is cleaning up the house when she says she’s going to be home late from work. Sometimes, romance is giving her a massage when she says she’s feeling sore. Sometimes, romance is free.
At the end of the day, all she wants is to know that you’re serious about staying with her. That you’re willing to make an effort to keep the relationship strong.
She knows that relationships never stay the same years down the road as they were during the puppy love stage, but she doesn’t want things to change too much. She doesn’t want either of you to get lazy and stop flirting, stop trying.
She wants you to remind her that you care by doing little things — and she’s going to return the favor. She’s going to make sure that you never forget how she feels about you.
Even though flowers and chocolates are nice, she wants more than that. She wants something that comes straight from the heart.