I’m not the impatient type, the kind of person that dreams about marriage two seconds after locking eyes with someone. I’m not looking to jump into a relationship before making sure it’s what I really want. I don’t want to move too fast.
But I’m also sick of moving this slow.
It seems like every time I find a person that I could picture dating, months go by until we go on our first official date — if we even get there at all. We spend all of our time texting, making small talk about our days, telling each other how we can’t wait to hang out but never making concrete plans.
Even if we finally decide to meet up, that’s it. Even if we have an amazing time. Even if we kiss. Nothing changes. We go right back to what we were doing before, talking over a screen instead of seeing each other in person.
It’s like we’re forever stuck in the same place. Like none of the intimate moments we share actually matter, because they don’t push us any further. We’re in pre-dating purgatory.
I just don’t understand why titles take ages to be placed onto relationships.
I’m not saying that I need to be labeled as someone’s girlfriend after the first or second or even third date. But if we’ve been texting for months and are both attracted to each other and want to spend time together, then why the hell aren’t we dating? Why aren’t we even close? What are we waiting for?
As much as I love flirting, I don’t want to stay at this stage. I’m tired of overthinking your texts and trying not to try too hard. I want to take the next step. I want to move forward.
I should probably leave you behind and find someone new, I should accept that we’re never going to be anything more than ‘friends,’ but I feel like we’re always hovering on the edge of something. Like any second, we’ll be together. Like we’re almost there.
But apparently, I’m always wrong.
Maybe we’re dragging our feet, because we don’t like each other all that much, because we’re waiting for someone better to come along. Or maybe we’re just scared of how things are going to change once we become official, maybe we’re nervous that we’ll get hurt.
Honestly, I don’t know why it’s happening, but I hate it. It’s slowly driving me insane, making me lose hope that I’ll ever find something serious.
This ‘relationship’ is progressing way too slow for me. We either need to pick up the pace or stop trying completely, because I’m not going to wait forever.
I don’t have time for these games.