She doesn’t give up easily. Once she gets attached to someone, once she decides that they’re worth the chase, she doesn’t let go of the idea of being together. She tries hard to make a relationship work with that person. Saying goodbye isn’t an option.
After all, she wants him. And she’s the type of girl that gets what she wants.
At least, she likes to think that she’s the type that gets what she wants. The truth is that she gets disappointed just as often as the next girl. She still ends up falling short. She still ends up not being good enough.
That’s why she’s gotten into the habit of texting boys for weeks, flirting for months, waiting and waiting for that first date that never comes.
She always gets stuck in almost relationships, because she has high expectations for boys with low expectations.
She’s independent, self-sufficient, confident — which means that she can come across as too cool. She won’t call him out when he takes too long to text back. Or when he ignores her completely. Or when he talks to other girls. She can handle all that so she doesn’t say a word.
But her carefree attitude gives him the wrong impression. It makes him think he can get away with anything. So he keeps pushing. Pushing until she has no other option but to walk away.
Of course, since her heart is so big, since she gives out so many chances, he’s usually the one that officially ends it. He’s the one that walks away without giving her what she wanted all along.
And that’s not fair. It’s not fair, because she already gave him so much of her. Because she worked hard to keep him in her life. Because she would have made such an amazing girlfriend.
He gave her plenty of reasons to walk away in the past, but she never took advantage of the opportunities, because she had hope. More than that, she had determination. She would have put in the work. She would have done anything to keep him around.
But, like always, she cared more than the boy did. She wanted him more than he wanted her. She was ready for something real while he only wanted a little extra excitement in his life.
It’s happened before and it will probably happen again.
She keeps getting stuck in almost relationships, because she doesn’t realize that’s what they are. She mistakes them for stepping stones. She assumes that something more is going to come out of it. That it’s only a matter of weeks until they become official.
She gets stuck in almost relationships, because she has a huge heart. Because she has high hopes. Because she sees the best in people that see the worst in her.
And that’s actually a good thing, because one day, her compassion will pay off. Her beliefs will be an advantage instead of a disadvantage. A boy will admire her strength, her willingness to commit.
One day, all of those almost relationships will be memories, and she’ll have a forever love that is never going to go away.