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He’s Not Your Forever Person If You Can’t Answer ‘Yes’ To These 5 Questions

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istockphoto.com / Merbe
istockphoto.com / Merbe

1. Do you two act like a team?

Or do you act like you’re on opposing sides? When it’s time to make a decision, do you put your heads together and try to figure out the best solution side-by-side or does one person take the reins while the other person is forced to deal with whatever happens?

Your forever person should be more than your best friend. They should be your teammate. They should treat you like an equal, which means that they should value your opinion as much as they value their own opinion.

It sounds silly, but if you two can kill it at a round of charades, beat a co-op video game, or build a piece of Ikea furniture together, then you’re probably meant to be.

The better you work together, the longer you’ll stay together.

2. Do you trust that he’ll never hurt you?

He might forget your anniversary one year or he might insult your cooking on accident. That’s life. That’s going to happen in any relationship.

But, overall, do you believe that he has your best intentions at heart? That he’s not using you for sex, that he’s not still in love with an ex, that he’s not viewing you as a temporary escape from his problems?

Most importantly, do you think that he puts your relationship as a whole in front of himself as an individual?

Do you think that he’s the type to stay loyal? The type that wouldn’t lie, wouldn’t cheat, wouldn’t betray your trust?

Do you think he’s the type of person that will give you the love you deserve?

3. Are you happier with him than without him?

Think about your single days. Now think about your old relationships with exes. Are you happier now than you ever were in the past?

Or do you feel like something is still missing, relationship wise? Do you have doubts about whether you’d feel more fulfilled if you were with someone else — or if you were single and free?

Think of it this way: Since you’ve met him, have you spent more nights crying from disappointment or from laughter?

If it’s the latter, if he makes you smile so wide that your jaw hurts, never let him go.

4. Can you handle his bad habits?

Are you okay with the fact that he sleeps until noon? That he smokes? That he snores?

Even if he keeps saying he wants to break his bad habits, that doesn’t mean it’s actually going to happen.

You can’t expect him to change. If you’re in love with the person that he has the potential to be instead of the person that he is right this moment, then the relationship won’t last.

You have to love him, flaws and all. You have to be able to live with him, flaws and all.

Because no one is perfect — not even your forever person.

5. Does he push you to be a better woman?

Does he encourage your dreams or squash them? Does he make you feel silly about your passions or does he push you to talk about them?

If he’s your forever person, then he won’t want to hold you back. He’ll want to watch you flourish. He’ll want to see you happy.

And you should want to see him happy. So take a second to think… When you’re with him, do you strive to be a better, kinder, bubblier person because you believe he deserves the best?

Or are you so comfortable with him that you don’t care how horribly you treat him — if you curse him out or if you cheat on him — because you know he’ll never leave?

It’s okay to get comfortable, but it’s not okay to get nasty. It’s not okay to take advantage of each other’s affection.

You shouldn’t bring out the worst in each other. You should bring out the best. TC mark 

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