If you notice any red flags early on in the relationship, break up with him ASAP. You don’t want to go through what these Ask Reddit users had to go through.
1. He tried to murder my sister
“Not my ex, but my sister’s ex-husband. He always gave me weird vibes, but I blew it off. The day they moved into their new place I stayed over and we all had to sleep in the living. In the middle of the night I woke up to him standing over me breathing really heavily. I was freaked out and pretended to be asleep. My sister woke up and was confused asking what he was doing. We both assumed he was sleep walking and let it go. Forward a year later and he attempts murdering my sister by secluding her in the woods and beating her with a crowbar. She managed to escape and received 20 staples in her head. Another year later and he brutally beats another woman. I later found out he would beat my sister and told her if she ever left him that he knew where I worked and would kill me. The judge in town has some relationship with the family and he is still running free today.” — pandapowwow
2. He carved my name into his skin
“In high school, my ex-boyfriend cut my name into his arm with a box cutter. When his stepmom saw it, he told her I coerced him into doing it.” — przybylowicz
3. He got drunk and choked me
“We were drinking at home, having a good time. All the sudden he came towards me with a camera, grabs my throat and semi-chokes me while taking a picture of my face with his other hand. I pushed him off and yelled ‘Stop,’ then ran into the kitchen and broke down crying. I asked him why the fuck he would do something like that, he said he just wanted to see what it would look like. He had never done anything like that before, it was super creepy and scary. Needless to say I noped out of that relationship.” — pyrill
4. He tried to break into my house
- “Invite his friends over to my house while I wasn’t there, calling it “our bedroom” (I was still living with parents, in high school).
- Taking condoms out of the trash and showing them off to his friends.
- Would frantically search for the keys everywhere when my parents hid the house keys.
- Would try to break into my house, or my friends houses if he thought someone was in there.
- After he would go home, he would come back 5 miles on foot.
- Tried applying to every single college that I got a mail brochure for (he went through my mail).
- Told all of my friends that we were engaged and expecting.
- Told his mother that I was a lesbian and was working on changing me.
- Bought camo baby clothes, because we might need them soon.
- Would frequently poke holes in the condoms he bought.
- If bought them, he would try to slip them off mid way through.
- Wrote my first name with his last name on his wrist.
- Would say he would fight my best friend for looking at me.
- Would often take pictures of me when I was taking a nap.He managed to jam this much creepy and crazy into 4 months, at the time actually impregnating another girl. I honestly don’t know how he had the time with how busy he was with me.” — nic131
5. He wanted to fuck my corpse
“It has to be the time I was giving him a blowjob and all of a sudden he just went, ‘If you somehow ended up dead during sex, would you mind if I’d continue?'” — concertwhore
6. He left bloody messages for me
“He left me messages in his own blood on the bathroom mirror after we broke up. We lived with about 5 other people.” — noortown
7. He broke in to masturbate
“Broke into my house left an engagement ring on my bed and a note saying how he’d masturbated in my sheets because they smelled like me. This was all after I broke up with him.” — Solsed
8. I had to get a restraining order
“Where do I start. We broke up 9 months ago. He messages/ calls relentlessly every day and has broken in to my flat 3 times because he wanted to know ‘what guy I was fucking.’
I got a restraining order against him and he still emailed me constantly and got his friend to text me abuse. He sent me 50 texts in 1 day accusing me of sleeping with just about every man we know, and telling me he raped me while I was asleep. That’s what got him arrested.
One more thing, I have woken up to find myself naked from the waist down and him trying to fuck me. He has also fingered me twice while I was asleep, seen by friends. He also tells me he’s wanking over pics of me even though we are in the midst of a court case. He’s mental.” — cheese_yeah
9. He made fun of my rape
“I told him about something an older man did to me when I was 5 and he giggled and said he sympathized with the man.
We split up shortly thereafter, but why I didn’t split up with him in THAT MOMENT I’ll never know. Even if he was joking, is this a funny joke?” — addcream
10. He threatened to kill himself
“Bit of a story, but we broke up almost a year ago. A week after the break up he showed up at my house and spent three hours berating me, telling me I was obviously mentally unstable and needed him to “fix” me. When that didn’t work he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t get back together with him. I threw him out of the house, and he proceeded to pin me to a wall and get his “final goodbye kiss” by force.
After that, I’d see him drive by my house while I was walking the dog, trying to see if I was there. I’d see him around my doctors appointments, out shopping, etc. etc.
Right around here I started finding nails in my car’s back right tire. Luckily it was a run flat under warranty and I knew how to use the spare, so I was never stranded. I thought at first it was just bad luck, until I put together a timeline of the issues for the tire company and realized it always happened within a week of heightened stalker activity, and always happened when I was going to be home alone the next morning.
I was never able to definitively prove it was him, but I do have grainy surveillance photos of someone with his build smoking while pacing next to that tire. He went through a pack or two a day while we were together.
I hate saying this, but luckily he died a couple months back, so I’m safe now, but I still get panicky when I see a certain color and make of car around.” — LadyParnassus
11. He sent me pictures of his knives
“This guy I dated in high school for about a year – All of the sudden he started being totally psycho but he initially did it in ways that he thought were super subtle like:
One time during an argument over text, he replies to me with a pic of about 10-15 knives, all unfolded and displayed on his nightstand. This was like, smack dab in the middle of us going back and forth at one another, totally out of place. Not to mention I had no idea he even collected knives much less had any interests in them. His explanation was “Oh I was just showing you my knife collection babe”
Then we were in his room arguing late and mid argument he just starts swinging a baseball bat. Just grabs a bat nearby and I’m sitting on his bed, he’s standing in front of me swinging a fucking baseball bat. His explanation was “Just practicing my swing”
I tried to leave him after this and he threatened to kill himself. I stayed for a bit because of guilt and then realized I couldn’t do that to myself. I told his mom about the suicide threats and then bailed.” — happystack
12. He had multiple personalities
“He claimed to have multiple personalities — as in, more than one being existed inside him. He used one of them to insult me until I cried and then laughed at me. When he “woke up” from that personality, he’d pretend to be concerned so I’d stay with him.
Yeah, no. I’m not fucking someone that crazy.” — MuggyNeedsCups
13. He threatened to kill me
“When dating would repeatedly tell me how if I ever cheated he would kill me, the other person, and himself. While crying and trying to be romantic. In fights He threatened to tell my very religious family about our sex life. Took tons of pictures of me while I slept . One day while on our computer I found pictures from my old myspace, from when I was in high school. I looked at the date the file was saved… it was way before he and I started dating. Come to find out he had been obsessed with me since high school (I had met him once in high school). He told all his friends how I was going to be his one day.
When we finally broke up I was trying to stay in the front of the house, so I could easily leave and stay away from his gun in the back of the house. He noticed and said, ‘Don’t worry, I should have killed you already.'” — Favafavafavabean
14. He became an arsonist
“When I was in 8th grade I got a box of Chocolate from a boy. I was flattered so I told him we could eat them together while hanging out after school.
It was a hot day and we were outside so he grabbed one of the melting chocolates and wrote our names in a heart with it on a wall. I was like “aww sweet” then he asked if he could cut my finger a little so we could make a love pact over the chocolate writings.I said that I was too scared and thankfully he didn’t insist. Also I just realized that I used to hang out with a kid that used to bring a weapon to middle school. Apparently he used to ask people for their blood to drink. I really dodged a bullet, later he was involved in an arson case.” — FairyKingdom
15. He carved my initials into his chest
“Sent me a picture of him with my initials cut into his chest a couple of hours after I dumped him. He had the courtesy to change it to black and white, because, you know, color would make the dripping blood and mutilated flesh too unpalatable. At least I knew I made the right decision…” — mielchouette
16. He asked me to murder him
“When I was in high school an ex-boyfriend guilted me into not breaking up with him by telling me he would kill himself if I did, and it would be my fault. Like a sucker, I relented and didn’t go through with it. Every few days I’d try again, all the while getting progressively meaner because frankly I didn’t want to listen to him talk about how the only thing keeping him alive was my love.
At one point, after we’d spent the night fighting over why he couldn’t just let me break up with him, he brought me a knife and asked me to stab him, and told me that all this talk of breaking up was going to kill him anyway, so I might as well get to enjoy it first-hand.
Eventually he dumped me, and then acted like it was his idea the whole time. Glad to say he outgrew the creepy and apologized a few years later, but man, at the time it was a total nightmare.” — NotAnotherWhatever
17. He paid me to keep dating him
“I was dating a guy in high school. At some point during our relationship, I left that school and lost contact with quite a few friends. A few months later he started getting quite abusive so I left him. He tried to buy me back. Offered me about $600 to keep dating him. I refused. He turned up at my house with a ring. Again, I refused. That was pretty much the end of it.
I regained contact with my friends a few years later on MySpace when that was the new “in thing” and they kind of freaked out. Turns out he told everyone we had become engaged and I was 8 weeks pregnant when I died in a car accident. The school held a little memorial for me and everything.” — ahalfdozen6
18. He lied about being abused
“Not a girl, but I had a boyfriend who convinced me that he was severely abused by a man his mom was friends with. He wrote out probably over a 5 page description of the abuse involving every single detail about it. He would then act out and emotionally put me down and claim it was the PTSD. There were sometimes where it nearly got physical, but he would apologize and talk about wanting to start a family with me etc. Before we broke up he admitted there was a great possibility that there was no abuse and that it was all a fabricated tale. He also told me he jerked off to gore and that his main kink was cannibalism.” — Rotten-pizza
19. He fingered me after I fainted
“A former boyfriend of mine was really into comic books. And I was too, so I didn’t see anything wrong with this! But, the longer I was with him, the more it became apparent that in his mind he lived in them. He would always compare me to women in comic books, sometimes asking why I can’t look/act more like them. He would talk on end about how he just knew he was a superhero. Completely detached from reality. He would warn me about how he was a quiet guy, so I should watch out because quiet guys are more likely to snap than anyone.
Then, one day, he shows me a Batman fan script he had written. It was all about Robin kidnapping and brutally torturing/murdering a variety of supervillains. And the dialogue…you could tell he was directing it towards his high school bullies. It was really uncomfortable, and really creepy.
Oh, and I have health problems and one time after I fainted, he dragged me to the bathroom and undressed me and fingered me. He was so confused when I got upset and told me I should have been honored that he liked me enough to do that…” — littlezef
20. He would check my vagina to see if I cheated
“1) Check my breath and vagina if I was 20 minutes late home from work, even if I told him i was going to be working a bit late.
2) I bought him a helmet that fit him, because I have horses and give riding lessons and wanted him to be able to ride with me if he wanted to. I used the helmet for an overweight student who wouldn’t fit into the normal helmets, and it got pretty dirty so I put it in my car to take it home to clean it. He found the helmet in my car, smelled it, and declared that I must be cheating on him and having other men to the barn to ride with me… he never gave in on that one… even though he knew I gave riding lessons and used my stuff for students all the time.
3) Would go through my phone, find every picture of a male human (some were pictures of my brother and me!) and demand explanations and why I was hanging out with these men.
4) Thought I was in love with a guy who worked graveyards at my work even though I literally saw the guy a total of half an hour a month when he would come in early for mandatory meetings. The guy wasn’t even attractive? Ugh
5) I spent a lot of money on an awesome costume for cosplay/halloween that involved wearing a green body suit (it would be worn underneath the rest of the costume) and he threw the entire thing out, suit and all accessories, because he thought i was wearing it for male attention. It was a fucking Dr Rockso costume… who is the least attractive possible person to dress up as, and I didn’t even look like a female in it.
6) If I went out, I had to take pictures throughout the night and show him the time stamps and GPS info, and god forbid there were any gaps.
1.5 years… Extreme jealous is seriously a mental illness. So glad I got out of there.” — eatingissometal
21. He bought the house next door
“Not my story, but my mother’s.
After she broke up wish her shitty boyfriend of 5 years, he moved in to the house 2 doors down. He is a realtor, the house was empty, and he used his connections to rent the place while it was on the market. He drove past the house multiple times a day, and would show up if there was any car in the driveway.
The hot tub mysteriously lost some key parts, and after much questioning, he finally admitted to sneaking over in the middle of the night to take them so she would stop having orgies in them.” — gypsypan
22. He sabotaged the birth control pills
“Ex. For reasons that will become obvious.
Admitted to sabotaging his his ex-girlfriend’s birth control pills (he didn’t elaborate on exactly how, but it was in a fit of anger when he suspected that she was cheating on him). He proceeded to sleep with her anyways, and get her pregnant. She was 15 at the time (he was also a teenager… maybe 17?). Nopenopenoped right outta there upon learning about this.
He also admitted to training the toddler son that resulted from this to call me “mommy” within two months of seeing each other. He thought that it would be cute. Nopenopenope.” — thisismyhawaiiacct
23. He sat outside my house for hours
“My boyfriend in high school and I had been fooling around all afternoon but kept getting interrupted by various things. So when he dropped me off that evening, he was not in a good mood. I apologized and we made plans to see each other the next day. I went inside, had dinner with my family and did homework. A few hours after he dropped me off, I heard a car start in our driveway and saw headlights outside. He had been sitting outside for hours, stewing angrily that he didn’t get off. It was super creepy.” — beard_lover
24. He took my television away
“Ex worked for time Warner cable.. Every time I tried to break it off he would disconnect my cable.” — stellar339
25. He wanted me to throw up
“One of my ex’s back in high school, asked me to throw up into a jar, so that he could then put the lid back on, and display the jar next to his books and knickknacks.” — random_side_note