To Anyone Who Thinks They’re Too Fucked Up To Find Love

You aren’t destined to end up alone. If you want to find someone to hug and kiss and cuddle, then you will. Don’t let your insecurities convince you that you’re unlovable. Here’s an open letter to anyone who thinks they’re too fucked up to find love:
Alf Santos
Alf Santos

1. Someone out there is as fucked up as you are.

You’ve heard the famous quote: “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love.” Replace the word “weird” with “fucked up” and the saying is spot on. We’re all messed up. Just in different ways.

2. You’re not as bad as you think you are.

You grew up with divorced parents. You’re still a virgin. You’ve been cheated on. You were the one to cheat on someone else. So what? Everyone has baggage. There’s someone out there who will be able to deal with yours.

3. You’re not fucked up — the world is.

You live in a world that tells you that you should feel comfortable with your body, but that you shouldn’t sleep around. In a world that tells you not to care what others think about you, but that you should shave and stay skinny if you want them to like you. It’s impossible to be perfect in this imperfect world. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

4. Love is a pretty fucked up thing.

People kill for love. They die for love. It’s a powerful emotion that can drive a sane man crazy and turn a sweet woman into a psycho. There’s nothing logical about the way it works. True love is a bizarre thing. Only bizarre people can handle it.

5. There’s someone out there for everyone.

Admit it. You have some pretty strange friends in happy relationships. You’ve wasted hours wondering how they could’ve landed someone while you’re still single, but the answer is simple. There’s someone out there for everyone. They’ve just found their “someone” faster than you have.

6. You can change if you want to change.

You shouldn’t change yourself for your partner, but if you actually hate something about yourself, guess what? You have the power to change it. Stop moping about how shy you are or how lazy you are. Break out of your comfort zone. Become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

7. Being hard to love is a different story.

You might be hard to love, but you’re not too fucked up to be loved. There’s a difference. Anyone worthwhile is hard to love, because they have high standards. They won’t settle for being treated like shit, so they require effort and attention. And that’s not a bad thing.

8. Give yourself some credit.

Why are you being so hard on yourself? What caused you to think that you’re such a fuck up? Before you focus on finding someone else to love you, you should really learn to love yourself. You need to get along with the person you see in the mirror every morning.

9. You’re still breathing.

You know what that means? That you’re a survivor. It doesn’t matter if you have scars on your wrists or your heart. Either way, you’re alive. You’ve made it through. Who wouldn’t love someone as tough as you?

10. You’re wrong.

If you think you’re too fucked up to find love, I’m sorry, but you’re just plain wrong. Maybe there isn’t anyone out there who loves you in a romantic or sexual way yet, but you have parents, friends, and pets who love you. They prove that you’re not unlovable. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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