This Is Why You’re Always So Hard On Yourself

You can’t keep tearing yourself apart whenever something small goes wrong. You’re not a waste of space and you’re not stupid. You’re actually doing pretty well for yourself, all things considered. So why do you still feel like a failure? Here’s the truth about why you’re always so hard on yourself.


1. It’s easier to give yourself shit than credit.Sure, you have a job and a good education and a hot body, but you probably should be sending out apps for a better job and getting better grades and hitting the gym more often for an even better body. But the thing is, you could be always be doing better. Be happy about the mountains you’ve climbed instead of thinking about how many more lie ahead.

2. No one really talks about mental health.Even when you were in elementary school, you were warned against skipping class. You were told how important your grades, AKA reaching success, was if you wanted to live a fulfilling life. But you were never taught how important it was to keep your mind as healthy as your body. That’s why you push yourself until you break.

3. Your family thinks it’s their job to be hard on you.They think you need tough love. But even if your parents sound like they’re complaining about what a worthless piece of shit you are, what they’re really trying to do is push you. They want you to be successful, and they don’t think coddling you will do you any good. They’re proud of you. They just don’t say it as often as you need to hear it.

4. Social media is partly to blame.If it wasn’t for Facebook, you’d have no idea how well your old classmates were doing. But all you have to do is click a button to hear news about their promotions and see pictures of their brand new houses. You’re bound to compare yourself to others when their glamorous lives are posted on social media for you to see. That’s why you might want to take a break from the computer for now.

5. The negative things are he most memorable things.When you get a compliment, you’ll blush about it for a few minutes, but when you get criticized, you’ll remember it for the rest of your life. The bad things stick around. People love to torture themselves, which is why you’ll dwell on the things you hate about yourself instead of focusing on all of the beautiful things about yourself.

6. Everyone else treats themselves like shit, too.The most beautiful women you know complain about their looks. The most successful people you know complain about their jobs. If they’re unhappy with their grand lives, how could you be content with your mediocre one? You’re just treating yourself the way you see others treating themselves, because it’s the world’s fucked up definition of normal.

7. You think the universe revolves around you.You’re not cocky. Really, you’re not. But when your crush turns you down or you don’t get the job offer you wanted, you’ll wonder what you did wrong. You’ll assume that you were the one to blame, even though there were a million other factors that could’ve led to your rejection.

8. You don’t see the big picture.When you run into an aunt that hasn’t seen you in years, she’ll comment on how much you’ve changed, even though you think you look exactly the same. You can never take a break from yourself, which is why you’re unable to see how far you’ve come. You’re doing pretty damn well for yourself. You just don’t realize it.

9. You’re literally your own worst enemy.If you swapped lives with your best friend, you wouldn’t call them a failure. You’d congratulate them on all that they’ve achieved. So why can’t you do the same for yourself? You should be your own BFF, but most of the time, you’re your own worst enemy. No one is harder on you than you are.

10. You desperately want to succeed.You think pushing yourself is the only way to do that. Of course, you can still live a fulfilling life without beating yourself up. You need to start giving yourself some more credit, because being hard on yourself might not help you succeed. It might make you fall apart, instead.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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