12 People Explain Why You Need To Quit Being So Nice To People

Someone on Quora asked what the disadvantages of being too nice were. A lot of people answered, the predominant theme being, you’re going get stepped on. There are, however, more things you should be way about. Check it out.

1. Manish Barnwal

  1. People will soon start finding you boring.
  2. You will stop being yourself.
  3. You will start living according to expectations of others.
  4. People will start taking you for granted.

2. Niharika Kishore

They’ll just walk all over you!

If once you give them the message ‘its okay’, they’ll just think it’s their birthright to do that every time!

Be nice to people, but be nice repeatedly – to the right people!

You really need to analyze who’s worth it and who’s not! Be nice to those from whom you can learn, who have something to offer back to you, not to leeches who are there just to extract from you.

3. Adrija Subramanian

The fact is, if you find it hard to say no, people will eventually assume you mean yes even when you say no, and repeatedly pester or coax you to do something you actually don’t want to do.

eg 1. If you have your hands full with work and outright refuse to do something, people will convince themselves that you’re dying to help out and continuously try to get you on board with flattery or incentives.

eg 2. If you say no to a relationship with someone because you’re not attracted to them, but you’re still nice to them, they’ll convince themselves that you actually like them and just need to realize it, and keep trying to persuade you.

People tend to take your cooperation and personal space for granted. Your differing opinion is viewed as un-informed – after all, you’re so agreeable, you can be convinced to do what the other person wants!

4. Christopher Kosel

You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you. This doesn’t mean you should never say no, it just means that kindness is always in fashion, and always appreciated by those who are paying attention.

5. Anila Syed

The biggest disadvantage of being too nice is that people, being the sadistic, manipulative, self-serving homo sapiens that we all are, believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind, otherwise, why would you be doing all these special things?

Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there can not, surely, be such a thing as ‘too nice’ for no reason.

Therefore, your attempts at being nice will be met by universal narrowing of the eyes and suspicious glances and people will talk about you behind your back and not in any adulatory way, but in a ‘what does she really want?’ type of way.

We are all taught about the Trojan horse from a very young age:

‘Never look a gift horse in the mouth’ we are told. You get a gift horse on your drive, you got trouble. That thing is only full of big hairy men who are here to steal your Helen.

In a similar way, anyone who is ‘too nice’ is seen as a Trojan horse. Sometime, somewhere along the line, you will turn into a bunch of large smelly men who will want something in return.

‘Remember that time I was too nice?’ you will say. ‘Well its payback time!’

Unfortunately, our species is also well endowed with long-term strategizing capacity. We will take advantage of your good will for as long as we can get away with it and then be sure to be well out of range and facing the other way when you come round knocking on the drawbridge asking for our help in return.

That’s just the kind of mean-spirited, selfish behaviour that has gotten us to being one of the most voracious and successful species on the planet.

So please think very carefully before being too nice. Unless your name is Oprah or Bill, you might find your generosity is thrown back in your face. Or, held up against the harsh mirror of humanity, is seen for the psychological mind games it obviously is.

In the meantime, thank you and have a nice day!

6. Borang Touch

You will start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, ‘guilt tripping you if you don’t do something for them’ types of people. Best to have boundaries.

7. Shilpi Singh

You forget to be nice to yourself!

Being nice to others is good. But when you try to be too nice, you are losing yourself in the process. Your first duty is to be nice to yourself. If you can do that and still be too nice to people, you are too nice to know what’s going on.

8. Sang Young Noh

  • They will think (maybe truthfully) that you lack assertiveness.
  • You’ll have a hard time making conversations interesting.
  • People will stop giving a shit what you think.
  • You *will* be friendzoned.

9. Rai Aishwarya

  1. They’ll treat you like a doormat which can be pushed over and used any time they wish.
  2. They’ll often misjudge you as being weak enough to not voice your dislike strongly on various occasions.
  3. They’ll mistake your goodness for pretension and may even assume that you have an ulterior and selfish motive behind your goodness.

10. Vignesh Natarajan

Being nice is different from being selfless. If someone is too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted.

A lot of people cannot handle this and when they talk about how they’re nice to everyone while others take them for granted, they tend to sound very entitled, which is a negative quality.

11. Bismoy Murasing

Being too nice is actually a sign of not having your own individuality . Because you are trying so hard to please everyone that you might end up being noone and people will keep on taking advantage of your this kind of behavior and you will live a miserable life which has no purpose besides making others happy.

I mean what about you ? Did you ever think about that ? Being nice is cool but Being too nice is something that you cannot say “it’s cool.”

12. Lorraine James

  • You attract unscrupulous types.
  • People assume you’re weak willed.
  • You’ll have no boundaries.
  • The type of people who call you a friend only see how to exploit you.
  • You won’t gain any respect.
  • You’ll feel worthless if your goal is to be liked.
  • Think about what deeds you’re doing and if you have an ulterior motive in all of this. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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