I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say


Unfortunately, we did not receive enough ESTJ responses to deem any of the survey results significant.

ESTJs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 35 participants sampled:

80% identified as heterosexual
17% identified as bisexual or pansexual
3% identified as ‘other.’

ESTJs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.60.

ESTJs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

40% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
54% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
6% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

ESTJ Commentary

1. “I am definitely loyal and monogamous as my type would suggest, but I have a previous history of being more promiscuous. I’d say my sex drive is likely above normal overall, and I love experimenting in bed.”

2. “As I look for a serious long-term relationship, I find myself having a lot of brief flings with other people. They’re not necessarily casual hookups. I like to get to know women fairly quickly, and sex is usually involved at some point. But once I realize that we aren’t compatible for any reason, I quickly lose interest and cut things off. As an ESTJ, I’ve found that I’m usually the one to end a relationship because I can tell pretty quickly if things are going to work out or not.”

3. “I think my type affects my sexuality in that I lack sexual drive because I need to follow the rules and action steps to get there.”

4. “As an ESTJ I feel ashamed when trying new things.”

5. “I can be pretty focused on the end result, and can sometimes forget about the journey. I prefer to not be the aggressor or initiator, and will let my partner take the lead to let me know what they want. Once they do, I’m happy to oblige. I hate having to guess, though, and appreciate open communicators.”

6. “I research things a lot – I would never just ‘try something spontaneously’ but rather I would notice my curiosity, learn techniques/positions/tips and then attempt to have a go.”

7. “As an ESTJ woman my sex drive is often higher than the men I’ve dated. I tend to be more dominant.”

8. “I feel perhaps it actually holds me back from pursuing my suspected bisexual tendencies. I’m in a cycle of not wanting to pursue it until I’m certain, but then not being certain because I’ve never tried it.”

9. “Sex is one of the ways that I can really let loose, if I have a partner that makes me feel comfortable to do so, and it’s freeing, and somewhat contradictory to what people think my personality type would be – I’m also a female.”

10. “Si tells me how I’ve done it before should work; sometimes it does sometimes it doesn’t. Te makes me want to think of new things to try. My type 2 enneagram makes me want to go above and beyond to please my partner.”

11. “Being an ESTJ makes me more understanding of my partner so that I can do what I need to do to please him. It also allows me to verbalize exactly what I want sexually, essentially causing my partner to be very comfortable to open up to me.”

12. “I know ESTJs have a reputation for being all straight-laced and rule-following, but (at least, in my personal experience) that means we kind of tend the opposite way in bed. Needing to be always in control feeds a humiliation kink. A strong need to follow rules means you want to break them in bed: bi encounters, infidelity, etc., are that much hotter because they’re ‘wrong.’ My twenties kind of veered back and forth between being an in-control perfectionist, and being an absolute train wreck.”

13. “I’m straight forward when it comes to sex. I have no qualms about asking, so are we going to have sex? I dislike the head games and playing coy. Either it’s going to happen or not, we can still have a great evening without sex, but don’t lead me on. Be up front and open, it’s just sex not some taboo thing that shouldn’t be openly talked about.”TC mark

Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ


About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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