I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say
PsychologySex

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say

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INTPs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 134 participants sampled:

69% identified as heterosexual
18% identified as bisexual or pansexual
6% identified as homosexual
2% identified as asexual
5% identified as ‘other.’

INTPs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.25.

INTPs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

41% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
55% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
5% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

INTP Commentary:


1. “I like sex like I like eating – daily, but simple. A basic need, something to desire without obsession, something worth having a good relationship with, but no need to get fancy. This is a bit how I imagine the INTP and/or Enneagram type 8 approaches many basic needs.”


2. “As an INTP, I have a thirst for knowledge and a love of learning. My sex life is something that I work to improve on, through research and experience. I take a very practical approach to my sex life, as I would with learning a new subject in school. I really do try my best to incorporate new things into my sex life while also improving upon my skills.”


3. “I’m still a virgin and I think this has to do with the fact that I’m not in a hurry to get involved with a relationship. If I were to find someone who really interested me then things would be different (I think they’re calling this demisexual? I have no idea). However I do have a high sex drive so go figure.”


4. “I approach sexuality like I do most things: an enigma to be solved. I enjoy learning new things about sex and my partner and feel most fulfilled when we discover new and different things we enjoy.”


5. “My heart tends not to be involved, or, I am totally flabbergasted when I find out that it is involved when I didn’t plan things that way.”


6. “I have difficulty getting out of my own head and being fully present in the experience. I sometimes wonder if that’s why I am drawn to BDSM; since many aspects of it are very conducive to letting go in a context that is still very controlled with defined rules for safety.”


7. “I think nurture trumps nature in this aspect. How you’re raised plays an enormous role in your sexuality and sex life. After you become an adult and can experiment and examine different relationships, it can change drastically. Those “kinks” may have been inside of you all along, but unlocking them is the only way you find them.”


8. “I think type has a profound influence on sexuality. I am not held back by black/white beliefs about how sex should be, because INTPs are able to see things for how they truly are without bias.”


9. “I spend a lot of time thinking about possible scenarios and fantasies. I’m more comfortable in my own head anyway.”


10. “I’m curious and open, that leads to exploration and acceptance. I have a weird addiction to overpowering someone but I also love to let go and let someone do the same to me, so I find I can play either role. If the foreplay doesn’t start with my head, I’m not going to be into my partner and I may callously use them for gratification. If I think they are playing me for sex, I will take them on a wild good chase and set them up just to give them the cold shoulder and toss them aside. I’m not usually like that in my personal life, but being manipulated in that way just does something to me.”


11. “Having sex is such a conscience choice for me that it’s difficult for me to act on urges alone. So when presented with new potential partners I go through a rather logical pros and cons list. As a result my count is very low compared to those my age and one nights stands are not existent.”


12. “I don’t relate to people well so I find physical intimacy to be difficult.”


13. “I’m quite withdrawn from the physical aspect of sex. But for that reason, I love paying attention to the buildup. The sighs, the tension, it’s what drives me. I’m quite shy at first but when I open up, I am willing to try a lot of things. My boyfriend appreciates that about me. I’m quite sure that’s safe to say.”


14. “I have an ideal vision of how my experiences should be and I tend to analyze my partners. I am quite attentive and want to feel a close relationship before engaging sexually.”


15. “My type perpetuates my disdain for casual hookups.”


16. “As a demisexual, I only feel comfortable with guys that are my friends first. I don’t make new friends often, as not many people interest me; I tend to not even call others ‘friends’ until I get to know them very well, and that’s exactly what happens with partners. When I find someone I like, I tend to stick to them and be loyal. I don’t know if my personality type has something to do with my preferences, though I can see how it could influence it in some cases: as a female INTP, I tend to be quirky, tomboyish, highly critical, and I’d rather have quality time with a person (discussing topics, playing boardgames, doing nothing together) than ‘physical touch,’ so I can see how that can be discouraging for people trying to get closer to me. i don’t feel bad about this: if I have someone who can tolerate my quirks and be with me, perfect; if not, I keep doing my stuff, and I don’t even remember/feel the need to be with someone.”


17. “Existing almost solely in my own head has really disconnected me from and even caused me to fear physical relationships even though I crave them.”


18. “I find deep mental, emotional connection difficult to find but necessary for best sexual fulfillment. My libido goes through the roof when I mentally connect with someone. I think that’s known as demisexual?”


19. “As an INTP it is hard to be so close to someone. Also I cannot be that close to anyone unless I am in a relationship with them. Sometimes it’s hard to just ‘go with the flow’ because I am always thinking so much. But I do enjoy sex. I think I am more sexual in my thoughts than in real life.”


20. “As an INTP, the ever thirsty for knowledge type, I think has definitely manifested itself in my sexuality being that I’ve had a very large number of partners, and have experienced many many facets of sexuality. I am an introvert so the socializing aspect of engaging in sex is always the hardest part. I like to get right down to the sexual experience and then after that the socializing isn’t as painful anymore.”


21. “I don’t think I enjoy interacting with people enough to find multiple partners. And I try to figure out the logistics of positions before trying them (left foot red, right hand green, …). An emotional connection is a must.”


22. “Perceiver = more open, open-minded, flexible, laid back, easy going, easy to please, etc.
Thinker = more direct, honest, and uncomplicated when it comes to sex and wants.
Intuitor + Perceiver (Ne) = helps coming up with creative ideas to keep things fun, fresh, and interesting.
Introvert = helps with focus and attention once things are in motion.”


23. “Being INTP gave me a scientific eye when it came to sex. I learned about it as much as I could from a very early age before I did it myself and was very interested in doing so. I wanted to see what the big deal was and if it was worth doing. I ended up losing my virginity at 18 in a one night stand and always separated my feelings from sex. It took getting into a long term relationship for me to develop feelings that tied with sex, which has made me enjoy sex much more. I feel like I have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend as a consequence.”


24. “In feel that my personality type gives me a very clinical and matter of fact experience when it comes to sexuality.”


25. “As a really shy INTP who’s always stuck in his head it’s hard to make the connections with more outgoing people who are into casual sex. I prefer paying for sex because it seems more genuine, girl wants money, I want time with her body. I have cash, she has body. I’m usually only turned on by people I find intellectually stimulating.”


26. “I realize that sex is a biological function that involves dopamine and oxytocin and that kinks and fetishes are constructs built around rebelling against the social rules we are built to follow. Therefore, I have no fear or shame about these things. If something feels good, it does. Vaginal sex makes pleasure and babies, non-vaginal sex makes pleasure. None of that is wrong. Pair-bonding through any type of sexual activity increases the social advantage of the human species. However, I am generally against sexual practices that create disconnection between humans, like cheating, unplanned pregnancies, and spread of STIs. Anyways, I’m pretty sure viewing things this way is in line with being INTP. My INTP fiance thinks so.”


27. “As someone who is introverted, I think it can be hard to let someone in, so that’s definitely had an effect on my sexuality. But I also think since I’m kind of quiet and shy at times that people don’t expect me to be into kinkier things, but I am. It’s weird, and I’m still trying to connect to my sexuality, as I’m only 20.”


28. “I always was never interested in sex. Not sure if my personality type anything to do with it.”


29. “Through my adolescent years I believed myself to be asexual. I think maybe I felt sexuality to be a weakness and illogical. Once I fell in love those ideas changed and my sexuality was ‘awakened’ so-to-speak. I like things simple and fairly straightforward but I love experimenting as well. I like to push the limits and find out what makes her feel good. If my partner wanted to try something new I would be all for it. I like to be in control (a top you could say) but I do enjoy letting go. I’m an ‘assertive INTP’ so I think that might play into the dominance? My sex drive isn’t through the roof and if my partner was unable/didn’t want to/wasn’t pleasing I would not complain. My relationship doesn’t revolve around sex, it’s just a really great benefit.”


30. “‘Laziness breeding ingenuity’ is basically the INTP slogan, and it definitely applies to the bedroom.”


31. “I have come to understand that I feel a distinct psychological separation from physical desire. Being and INTP means being preoccupied or strongly oriented towards my mental world and this tendency manifests itself as the aforesaid separation.”


32. “I was demisexual/asexual-spectrum for the first 30+ years of my life. I had to learn to engage my lower functions and get out of my head in order to enjoy sexual experience, but once I did/do that, I can be very passionate and fun. While my partner introduced me to many new things, he has no drive to delve into more new things, but I am very much interested in exploring. In many cases, it still is not sexual attraction that leads me to engage in these activities but rather curiosity and enjoying the process of learning about myself (and others) and how I respond to things, learning a new way of communicating altogether, etc.”


33. “I’m an INTP. I don’t think I’ve even touched another human being in weeks.”TC mark


Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ

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About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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