I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say

 iStockPhoto.com / AleksandarNakic
iStockPhoto.com / AleksandarNakic

ENFJs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 76 participants sampled:

76% identified as heterosexual
14% identified as bisexual or pansexual
7% identified as homosexual
1% identified as asexual
2% identified as ‘other

ENFJs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.60.

ENFJs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

47% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
51% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
2% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

ENFJ Commentary

1. “ENFJs are known for their selflessness. As such, our sexual satisfaction relies on the sexual satisfaction of our partners. In short, we care more about their pleasure than ours.”

2. “My true sexuality only comes out if I’m in a relationship, and the more intimacy and connection I feel with my SO the more sexually open and confident I get. I think that is somewhat connected to me being Fe plus Ni. We value true connections.”

3. “My personality type has nothing to do with me being a lesbian. However when I was younger, my outgoing nature used to make straight men think I was interested in them when I wasn’t at all. That was really annoying. Anyway, back to women. When I was single and dating, when I would go to lesbian clubs I found that my personality type made it very easy to meet other girls. I know how to talk to new people in social situations, put them at ease. Most single people in clubs are too shy to approach anyone. I used that fact to my advantage and amusement to talk to women I was interested in. Yes, charm got me many dates! I believe my NF-ness also allowed me to get women to bring their walls down much quicker and tell me what mattered to them and what they most wanted faster. Less bullshit games to play. Still to this day I’m great friends with many of my exes and I think my personality type is the source of much of that.”

4. “For me there is no sex without emotions. If I do not have emotions before sex, I will definitely start to care about the person I’ve had sex with after it.”

5. “I think being and ENFJ is in line with my submissive sexual nature.”

6. “Being open minded to what I and others are interested in is important as non-judgmentalism is a vital part of sex and trust with a partner. I may not want to do everything my partner sites and vice versa but being open to listening and trusting your partner does the same without having shame is the sign of healthy communication and trust. My personality type influences this as the key to being a helper is being able to communicate and listen.”

7. “I think that being an ENFJ makes me great at communicating what I like in the bedroom and also makes me really interested and in-tune with what my partner likes. I enjoy pleasing him but I want to be pleased as well and have no problem vocalizing that and showing him what I want. As a result, I never leave unsatisfied!”

8. “I am not sure, but I think that sex might mean a lot to my type since I am predominantly feeling. Because of that I might feel the importance of sex in the relationship much more strongly as a means to make my partner happy and thereby making both of us happy. However if it’s not someone that I see a possible permanent connection with, then sex can be a wonderful way to have fun. I am more of a ‘true love or nothing’ type but I do like the more enigmatic and fun “booty calls” sometimes… And besides, sometimes the booty calls can turn into true love.”

9. “My personality type has helped me understand why I strive to serve my partner, even at the expense of myself, always, even physically.”

10. “I’m an ENFJ. We’re givers in life. Givers in bed. I acquiesce to almost anything that would make my partner happy–and I also think I’m a good judge of character, so not in any way that would make me feel used or abused. My boyfriend is an ESTP (the first one I’ve dated, but I’m always attracted to TV xSTPs) and he is constantly changing things up and making things really fun. I don’t hook up or engage in hook up culture, not because I’m a prude, but generally speaking I really need someone to focus my sexual energy on. I’ve never really found myself a sexual person in general. From the candid talks I’ve had, I definitely don’t view sexuality the same way as my friends.. But when I have someone in my life that I want to be intimate with, it’s like a switch that just turns on.”

11. “I think it all comes down to how we perceive people and life. As I said before, I’d not engage in anything shallow which lacks any emotion and that applies to all aspects and kinds of relationships i my life. So if I am going to take you on a date it’s gonna be one hell of a date. I don’t do ‘let’s grab a drink.'”

12. “I’m labeled the Giver, so I love to give! Their pleasure is my pleasure. Don’t stop ’till they’ve had enough!”

13. “My personality type is influential in my sexuality by being able to have an open mind about new and not so common sexual experiences. I feel my outgoing and engaging personality makes it acceptable for me to have new experiences and to be able to share my desires with others.”

14. “I love deeply and I see sex as an extension of this. Sex plus love make it truly mind blowing.”

15. “My Fe and Se functions tend to work together during sex, I think. I want it to feel intense both physically and emotionally.”

16. “Being an ENFJ I think I have appreciated the deep emotional vulnerability and connection that sex is between two people. I am a virgin; I have chosen that lifestyle because of religious beliefs however I think I still would choose this based on my personality type. I know I get very emotionally attached in romantic relationships and I can’t even imagine the type of emotional damage that could be brought in if I chose to have sex and it didn’t work out.”

17. “My desire to please people means I’m a bit more ‘submissive’ but it also allows me to be a more passionate lover.”

18. “The extroversion and judgment aspects certainly have some important influence. Aso i had some difficulty choosing which personality type I’m typically most attracted to as it seems to vary based on the person’s intelligence and physical attributes. Certainly somewhat extroverted and intelligent are high on my list.”

19. “I am a people-pleaser, which I think lends itself towards submissive sexual tendencies (at least, it has for me). I also believe my extroversion and high sex drive are related.”

20. “I love taking care of my partner and making him feel loved and wanted. I also like that in return–when things get primal and I can feel his want for me on a visceral level. True relationship-like emotions aren’t necessary for the sex; just emotions true to the session.”

21. “I seem to be doing most of the giving, but am very stimulated by rocking his world. I love it when he takes the lead in trying new things. When I’m in love I’ll gladly give him what he wants.”

22. “Wanting to feel my partner in their fullest form–I just want to know everything about them, and show them how much I care through making them feel the same way I do. Sometimes endeavors like these are more out of trying to prove myself than getting something back for myself.”TC mark

Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ

About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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