I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say
PsychologySex

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say

iStockPhoto.com / Ondine32
iStockPhoto.com / Ondine32

Unfortunately, we did not receive enough ISFJ responses to deem any of the survey results significant.

ISFJs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 35 participants sampled:

84% identified as heterosexual
8% identified as bisexual or pansexual
8% identified as homosexual

ISFJs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.02.

ISFJs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

61% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
39% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
0% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

ISFJ Commentary


1. “As an ISFJ, I don’t like change and new things. This translates to me not suggesting/doing anything crazy in bed. But, I’m not closed off to it. If my partner wants to try something new I wouldn’t say no. It would make me feel good to make them feel good. I just won’t be the person to initiate the change.”


2. “All sexual acts and the related emotions are very romantic. It’s less about the sex and more about knowing that I’m pleasing my partner. Slow and passionate, eye contact, and very honest.”


3. “My personality type makes me see sexuality in a traditional, romantic way, as an expression of intense feelings for another person.”


4. “Being an ISFJ has impacted my sexuality quite a lot, I’m still a virgin in my 30s. That’s not to say I haven’t done anything sexual, but for me, it’s really important to feel emotionally, mentally, intellectually and spiritually safe with someone before I can be at my most vulnerable (i.e. naked) and allow him in (pun intended). Since I haven’t found someone like that yet, as an ISFJ, I’m still waiting (mainly for marriage), but the older I get, the more confident I am that I made the decision to wait.”


5. “My introversion probably contributes to my reserved nature, but I also think a big part of it comes from being inexperienced because of my religious values.”


6. “Pretty traditional, nothing too crazy, but always wanting to please my partner because I care about him: sounds exactly like an ISFJ to me!”


7. “I often put the pleasure of my partner above my own. I’m not overly experimental but I do get bored with the same routine and like to mix things up. For me, romance and intimacy are critical to my sex life and enhance the sexual experience more than intercourse alone.”


8. “As an ISFJ, pleasing and enjoying my partner is a huge part of my relationships and sex plays a big part in how I like to show my affection. I’m not kinkiest person, but I do like trying new things with my long term partners that seem appealing to me and also anything that my partners shows an interest in trying.”


9. “I believe my personality type has a lot of an effect on my experience of sexuality. Being an ISFJ I tend to be a bit timid, and while I want to be more adventurous I often have to be pushed into that direction by someone else. I think my partner feels I am not adventurous and doesn’t want to push me and make me uncomfortable. And we’ve had almost no other partners between us because we have been together since high school, so he may not even know where to begin. And being a harmonious peacemaker I want everyone around me to be happy, so I rarely assert myself and ask for what I want. So my sex life has mostly been tame and not very satisfying.”


10. “I get too connected to another person through sex. I had to stop casual hooking up because I would only be hurt in the end.”


11. “I think it’s more likely that your partners personality type will affect your experience of sexuality because sometimes opposites attract but other times they repel so depending on what type you are will depend how well you fit or don’t fit.”


12. “As an ISFJ, I am much more concerned about the experience I am giving my spouse instead of thinking about my own experience. I gain the most pleasure out of sensing the amount of pleasure being experienced around me. Barring things that go against my beliefs, I am willing to try a lot of new things sexually if my spouse desires to do so. I tend to look out for clues on what would appeal to my spouse to try and surprise my spouse by carrying those fantasies out. As a sensor, I tend to notice and communicate more during sex because I don’t expect an intuitive spouse to automatically know what feels good to me. I am grateful for communication from my spouse as well, because I may not intuit what my spouse would most enjoy. I don’t believe I would be able to enjoy sex if my spouse was not equally enjoying it. The amount of pleasure I receive from a sexual encounter hinges on the amount of pleasure my partner is receiving during the encounter.”


13. “I need to feel emotionally connected to someone’s mind/ heart before I enter a sexual relationship. Also, my sense of loyalty keeps me monogamous. Disloyalty from a partner is not tolerated.”


14. “Because I’m so sensitive and reserved, potential partners have to spend some time getting to know me before I’ll ever consider being intimate with them. I prefer sex to be within an exclusive, loving relationship only. I tend to play it safe in bed, sticking to things that I know we both enjoy time and time again. A little variety every now and the can be fun, though! I care very much that my partner feels attractive and loved when we’re being intimate. I put his needs before mine more often than not. I think all of these qualities are largely driven by my type – introversion, sensing, feeling, judging.”


15. “ISFJ tend to be private and rule abiding. We may seem too ‘stiff’ or ‘strict’ to intuitive or perceiving types.”


16. “I feel like I am pretty quiet and tame as an ISFJ, mostly for fear of being judged. I don’t like hookups and I prefer to be in a steady relationship to truly feel comfortable sexually. If I am with someone I love very much I am a lot more open, very affectionate and wiling to try new things/ express my preferences. I feel like my bisexuality is probably less common among my type, however I accept it and have sought it out in the past. However my approach to hookup, new relationships, and sex stays the same whether I am in a heterosexual or bisexual relationship.”TC mark


Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ

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About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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