I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say
PsychologySex

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say

 iStockPhoto.com / PeopleImages
iStockPhoto.com / PeopleImages

Unfortunately, we did not receive enough ESFJ responses to deem any of the survey results significant.

ESFJs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 35 participants sampled:

80% identified as heterosexual
11% identified as bisexual or pansexual
3% identified as homosexual
6% identified as other

ESFJs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.03.

ESFJs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

69% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
31% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
0% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

ESFJ Commentary


1. “I’d have to say that with me, what you see is what you get. I couldn’t play it cool or coy if I tried — too much anxiety haha! I’m loving and as a result overly focused on my partner. In my youth I searched for somebody to love me in many of the wrong ways. Those ways were fun but didn’t fulfill the soul level connection I was looking for. I’m in a LTR with an INTJ/ Sp5w6 and I couldn’t be happier.”


2. “I think (my personality type) makes me want to please my partner more than myself.”


3. “I’m a traditional kind of girl.”


4. “I definitely like to please my partner and I think it has been more difficult for me than average to value the importance of my own pleasure. Also, I have found that I am less ‘sporty’ in bed than Se types, as being too active tends to distract me from what is happening in the moment and the sensations I am experiencing.”


5. “I like routine so I guess I am always attracted to the same type of people.”


6. “I do not enjoy sex unless I know my partner is also enjoying it and I think a big part of that is because I care what he thinks and want to make him feel good.”


7. “I think that being an ESFJ makes me more willing to try new things because I value my partner’s pleasure.”


8. “I aim to please in the bedroom and am a generous lover as a result. I am also touchy feely and love nothing more than my significant other to run his hands all over my body, I find it so affectionate and lovely.”


9. “I think I tend to be a pleaser. I always want to make sure my partner is having a good time. I’d even sacrifice what feels better for me if it meant my partner would like something else more.”


10. “Being an ESFJ gives me the ability to read a partner and make them feel loved and heard. Negative emotions arise if this isn’t reciprocated.”


11. “As an ESFJ, I have traditional views on sex – I believe that the best thing for me is to wait until marriage to have sex. That being said, I have plenty of hetrosexual, homosexual, and pansexual friends who engage in premarital sex and I don’t judge them. But personally, I would rather make a person a cup of tea (unless they prefer something else) than have sex with them.”


12. “As an ESFJ I like to be complimented during the process.”


13. “As an old-fashioned ESFJ, I’m more towards a ‘prim and proper’ way of pleasuring my other half. Oftentimes I get surprised by who I’m with, but being a Guardian has certainly made me a gentleman in sex. Love is always a serious matter.”


14. “I think for me, it’s hard to disengage from feeling unless I’m going through something where I’ve essentially made my Fe numb (a break up, etc). I also think that I prefer the tradition of being with one person who I love so fully and openly, it’s like giving my heart to them. But, I think ESFJs could be easily written off as boring in bed too which is kind of weird to me. As Fe we literally FEED off of other people’s pleasure so being aggressive, wild, or doing whatever it takes for the new and best orgasm is in our nature. If the other person is dissatisfied at all it’s like a loss to us. I’m an ESFJ dating an ESFJ and I have never had better sex in my entire life and I had a big thing for classic ENTPs for a while. They were super fun (for a little while) but there is nothing like an extroverted feeler in bed to make sure you get yours and get it really good. I think people probably assume that the Si is more dominant but in my experience, it’s really not at all in play in an ESFJs sex life.”TC mark


Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ

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About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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