18 ENTJs Explain What They Do To Heal After A Heartbreak

Each type handles heartbreak a little differently. As feeling-inferior types, ENTJs may feel the urge to ignore the pain of heartbreak completely – but that isn’t always the fastest road to healing. Below, 18 ENTJs share what they do to heal their hearts when they’ve been broken.

 Rose Photography
Rose Photography


“If I see no future in the relationship, I shut my heart down. To care for myself, I drop the person (no communication for months). To heal myself, I focus on other more important matters (academics, sidelines). To move on, I try not to think of ‘what ifs’ and realize the benefits of both parties in our separation. Advice? At the start, it’s difficult, especially if you’re also VERY sentimental; however, not seeing, talking, or hearing from them makes moving on easier. Once all the feelings are drained and the person is still necessary for perks apart from romance, you may remain friends.”


“First I get pretty self destructive- after my conscience screams ‘that’s dumb’ loud enough, I start thinking until I have a really clear understanding of why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again. Then I decide I love being single because life is way more efficient without dependents or co-pilots.”


“Initially, I distract myself by going on a trip or getting together with friends. Afterword, I try to understand what went wrong and how I can prevent the situation (or dating a person who would lead to that situation) again. This is generally accomplished by reading a book or two or by reading online articles.”


“I talk to my close friends and try to get feedback from them. I step back and assess the events and decisions that led to the situation and see the points where I could have done better. I learn from my mistakes and never repeat them. My advice to other ENTJs: Think. A lot. By yourself, but also with trusted friends. Keep track of what you feel and think by writing a journal, filming yourself talking or whatever suits you best. You will be fine.”


“Dealing with heartbreak is simple: I just recognize how much better off I am without them and move on.”


“I speak to a professional about it. I travel. I pursue other goals and adventures. I will be honest- it takes me a while to get over someone I truly have feelings for. But it does happen- eventually.”


“I throw myself 110% into a major distraction. I will, no matter how sad/happy, absolutely make sure the world knows how happy and ready for this new adventure I am (true or untrue, I will put on a damn brave face). I also need some sort of closure or else I will literally wilt and die. I need answers and explanations, regardless. To others going through heartbreak, I would say to be careful and don’t burn yourself out trying to prove a point. Just let time heal you (but after all, you are an ENTJ, so you’re not going to listen to me are you?).”


“First off I delete everything. Texts, photos, social media. I don’t want to be reminded of things every time I open my phone. Then I make it my focus to get on top of my work and personal health. I spend lots of time with family and friends and just generally make sure I don’t mope at home and get things done. I also deny how I’m feeling to everyone until I actually stop feeling like shit.”


“Drink a bottle of wine, eat some really good chocolate, buy myself flowers, and watch “He’s Just Not That Into You”, followed by a lengthy planning session of how to completely overhaul my life- fix anything broken and weed out any activity/person/habit that is unproductive or not aligning with my goals or personal well being.”


“In my moments of heartbreak; or general deep, intense emotional pain, I think through all of the rational reasons why my predicament is in the situation that it is. I think through all of the factors that lead me to this point. I think of all the potential outcomes of my situation. I plan out practical strategies to move from this place of pain to a place of peace. I remind myself, CONSTANTLY, that my circumstances do not dictate my identity, or my self worth. (I am a deeply religious Christian, and firmly believe that self worth is given by Christ alone, and my circumstances can do nothing to lessen His favor.) I constantly remind myself of my own ‘unstoppability’ and continue to push forward towards my goals and dreams. I allow myself to feel the pain and feel the brokenness, but I refuse to allow those feelings to have dominion over me. I refuse to be beaten, either externally or internally. I don’t always succeed at all of these things, but these are the things that I strive to do. so as to move from heartbreak to breakthrough.”


“I stop giving a shit and stop looking at that person through rose colored glasses, I get sad for like 20 minutes and then I’m over it.”


“The first thing I think of doing is to drown out how I’m feeling. I know that it’s not the best way of handling it but emotions run deep and hard for me. I find it easier to table intense emotions until they are more manageable. I do this often by throwing myself into work and by working out a ton. Exercising really really helps get the heartbreak frustrations out of the way, and working helps to drown out some of the unnecessary noise. Usually I’d revisit my feelings when I feel ready enough (or sometimes it just springs up on me) and just contemplate what I could have done better. I’ll just repeat this process until I feel like I can start dating again. On advice: Don’t ignore your feelings and don’t let it explode. They are real data points to help you process what you want out of a relationship and a life.”


“I deal with heartbreak by finding something that’s huge and time intensive to distract myself with. Work on a project or do something really cool.”


“When I’m heartbroken I go a little introverted at first. I like to end relationships with a mutual understanding. If it is something very bad I’ll turn my back on the person and never think twice. I get a delayed response, usually in the form of depression. I’ll feel unappreciated, unloved, I feel exclusion. Internally I’m a rage of feelings. I’ll get slightly paranoid and somewhat anxious to feel, and in private (an only in private) I’ll cry. Its a process, I recognise it and know it will pass. Advice: be present, learn to recognise feelings are ok. Build a great network of people, go out and extrovert; time alone will make you feel worse.”


“It takes a lot to break my heart, so I can count once that it actually happened since I am usually the one to “pull the plug” first on a relationship if I don’t think its chance of success is high enough. How I was able to heal myself was surround myself with friends that truly cared about my well-being, and understood that I did not necessarily want to talk about my feelings. I blocked him on all social media and made sure I did not have a chance to contact him. It took a long time to get over him, a lot of misunderstanding and a lot of friends getting angry at me because I acted out. Ultimately, no one could snap me out of it but myself. One day, I woke up and decided enough self-loathing and feeling bad for myself, and decided to fill the next year with so many activities, trips, certifications and obstacle courses that I had no chance to think about my situation. Sure enough, a year later, i was unrecognizable to myself, for the better. The only advice I have, is self-actualization, which is something ENTJ’s generally are good at, and acting on it. Forcing myself to better myself by signing up for so many new things, helped me realize there was so much more out there for me.”


“Anybody who doesn’t want me in their life is not worth my emotions. I won’t waste any time delving into melancholy for people who don’t want me around. But I will admit, I react to heartbreak with more rage than sadness. To fully get over it, I find reasons to loathe that person which reaffirms that things work out for the better. In a way, that reignites a sleeping optimism. I find ways in which I can elevate myself to levels that person is far from. I have to better than them. Like I said, anyone who doesn’t want you around aren’t worth your thoughts. So why indulge them?”


“I go into skill building. Archery, working out, learning a new language. It keeps me distracted from going through it over and over in my head. And when nature has run its course I am better and empowered.”


“I keep myself busy and focus on being productive. I tend to work harder to preoccupy myself and of course surround myself with good friends when I want company. I think as ENTJs, we know our worth and we’d rather be with someone who can give the same commitment as we do so just keep busy. When we do finally find that right person for us, that’s all that matters in the end.”Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog