1. They accept that it’s going to hurt.
The strongest people know that the more you deny an emotion, the more power it ultimately has over you. So when something hurts, they simply make room for it to hurt. They don’t shrug off or deny the way they’re feeling – they acknowledge that they’re grieving a loss and they allow that loss to affect them.
2. They don’t let their pain derail them.
Emotionally resilient people don’t call in sick to work because they’re sad. They just go to work sad.
While they give their emotions space and validity, the strongest people know that they can’t let their pain take the steering wheel of their lives. They keep at the activities that keep them healthy and productive, even if they have to keep at them with a little less energy than usual.
3. They choose healthy methods of coping.
They journal instead of drink. They run instead of Facebook stalking. They take care of themselves the way a parent would take care of a grieving child – with patience and understanding, knowing that their loved one is not functioning at full capacity right now. Resilient people understand that when you’re sick, you need to take even better care of yourself than usual. And the same goes for when you’re heartbroken.
4. They refuse to make an identity out of their pain.
Resilient people view their struggles as external obstacles that can be overcome. Encountering pain or sadness or doesn’t mean they become a sad, pain-ridden person. It just means they use their natural strength and perseverance to deal with their ongoing struggle – and to eventually help them surmount it.
5. They recognize that all is not lost.
There is a famous quote attributed to Elvis Presley that states,
“When things go wrong, don’t go wrong with them.”
And this is exactly what the strongest people understand. When a certain area of their life falls apart, they know that the rest of their life does not have to fall apart with it. They still have their work, their ambitions, their faith, or whatever else keeps them moving forward. And they know that if anything, now may be the time to invest in those things a little extra.
6. They ask for help when they need it.
The strongest people know that they are not always mountains. They aren’t afraid to share what they are going through – to let friends and loved ones know that they’re struggling and that they could use some extra care and affection right now.
7. They forget about winning and losing.
Emotionally resilient people know that the only true way to lose a breakup is to get trapped inside of comparison – and consequently forget to move on. These individuals take all the time and space they need in order to heal. They aren’t worried about how their life looks from the outside. They’re just focused on how to restore it from the inside out.
8. They maintain faith in their ability to recover.
Emotionally resilient people know that being heartbroken right now does not mean they’ll be heartbroken forever. They understand that pain has an expiration date, that lost love will not linger indefinitely and that someday – maybe even someday soon – they will feel happy and healthy again.
Emotionally resilient people know that their pain will not swallow them whole. Because they’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure of it.