1. The eggplant.
The eggplant is highly suggestive and almost embarrassing to even look at. I nearly always blush when someone sends me this emoji. The sight of it evokes fear and pleasure from women around the world. We all know the eggplant emoji is never used to actually talk about the vegetable version. This eggplant means business. This eggplant is so big, it actually casts a shadow. In an interview, Beyonce revealed the song “Ego” was about the revered eggplant emoji. True fact, look it up kids.
2. The peach.
This peach has a figure of a 13 year old girl who has just hit puberty and has no idea what to do with her huge bubble butt. The peach is all grown up now and she’s ready to put her new body to the test. Honestly, real peaches look nothing like the emoji version. You know what the emoji peach does look like? An ass that has done squats every day of its life…
3. The smiling poop.
This little shit is up to no good and we all know it. Look at his toothy grin. Watch the way his eyes stare blankly into your soul. He knows he is being shitty and he doesn’t even care. He won’t apologize, but he will get away with whatever he has done. Your friends only send this to you when they are attempting to do the same thing as this carefree piece of poop.
4. The purple alien from a video game or rap music video, I can’t tell.
This purple alien has been turnt up for the past three weeks. He is the annoying friend that keeps asking you to go out when you have homework to do. “Come to this fraternity party, I heard the Ying Yang Twins are going to be there,” demands the purple alien as he flails his arms in the air and proceeds to sing the chorus of “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz. He won’t take no for an answer either. He is the reason you are failing college and have turned into an alcoholic.
5. The turban man.
First of all, it looks like his head has been halfway wrapped up in toilet paper. This isn’t even a real turban, the guy in this emoji got drunk with the purple alien, went to the bathroom, wrapped toilet paper around his head, took a few seemingly harmless pictures, and now his college and fraternity have made national news for throwing racist parties. Way to go turban man, enjoy the media coverage.
6. The gust of wind.
This is clearly just a fart. Real mature, creators of emojis. Real mature. I mean, honestly, when has a gust of wind happened to billow up into an imagined fart-like shape? This emoji further enhances the effect of a fart by adding a dimension that looks like speed, making it all the more funnier.