Hey Future Self,
How have you been? You must be smiling right now if my decisions at the present went well. If not, I hope you understand why I chose this way. Are you happy? If yes, you are truly proud and honored! I guess, my overall journey sprinkled with failures, pain, sadness, hardships and heartbreaks became your recipe to happiness.
Remember that day you were stuck and couldn’t find a way to move forward? Remember how many times you have questioned your existence? You keep trying to figure out who you really are, where do you belong and what is your purpose? Remember how scared you are to let someone go out of your life because you’re afraid of being alone? So, you keep holding on even if there’s nothing to hold on; you keep looking for your worth within someone else. Remember how you left yourself with withered flowers, yet you planted flowers in someone’s yard? Well, look at you. You have made it this far!
Life may not offered you perfect clarity, however, you’ve come a long way.
I am glad you have learned to let go of your fears and embrace pain for what it is. As terrifying yet beautiful, how it is right now for me, and was back then for you, that you have become your own best friend. Though you still have that space in your heart to love everyone—your family, friends and even those who have hurt you. I am certain that this quality of you and me remain. Anyway, how are others treating you? Did they make a promise to stay? Or did they leave you like some other people did to me?
But you see, I know everything that’s not happening for me right now has a bigger plan for you.
Don’t worry, you should know that all the stress and pain I am drowning in right now were the key to who I need to be—and that’s the person you are right now.
I just want to remind you that you are not what they define you—you are you. A poetry trapped in a girl’s body, a word that was not yet spoken, a book that was not yet published; a masterpiece. And if there is still no one to tell you that, just don’t forget who you are.
I hope you are stronger, braver, healthier and happier than you were the day before. Sometimes, I want to catch up with you faster, because often times, when emptiness hit me, I seem to crash. But trust me, I am working every single day to make myself better for you.
The thing is, I am starting to love myself today, but I am excited about who I will grow into tomorrow.
The reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to remember how much you’ve already lived in the little moments that have shaped your world and molded your heart in the most beautiful way possible. I want you to accept the wonders of this crazy journey that only you have lived and that you continue to live. I want you to feel appreciate everything and everyone, as much as I am right now.
Although I am the past to you, I still am very much you. In this moment in time, I don’t know where you are or what you do, or who you become, but I’m still you. What I do know is that you are the best version of myself. And when that day comes, I will be proud of the person you are. I also want you to know that I am doing just fine and so are you. I will continue to be “old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.” So, laugh about all the silly mistakes I am making at the moment and be grateful, because it led you to be the person you are right now.
Whatever happens, keep going!