5 Important Lessons I Learned After Losing My Father 

Sunset Girl
Sunset Girl

1. A phone call goes a long way

I used to hate talking to my dad on the phone. I didn’t grow up having him near, so most of our conversations happened by phone. Our conversations were awkward and though he really tried to get to know me and understand me, I was usually annoyed by his questions.

When he died, I learned that I should’ve taken advantage of those phone calls. I should’ve listened to him intently. I should’ve asked questions.

2. Daddy knows best

My dad has been the only man in my life that has truly loved me.  Yes, I’ve had boyfriends that have confessed their undying love to me, but in the end those relationships did not last. My dad will always be my dad and even though he’s gone now, his love for me still lives. It lives in his advice, in his scolds and reprimands, and in the life lessons that he taught me.

When a father gives his daughter advice, he means well. If he tells you not go out with that boy, he means well. If he tells you to do anything, and you just think it’s dad being annoying, he means well.

3. Family becomes a priority

When you lose a loved one, particularly a parent, family becomes a priority. Spending time with the people you love becomes essential because you’re haunted by the idea that you never know how much time you’ll be able to spend with them before they go. You become obsessed with the idea of making memories with them.

4. Pain subsides…eventually.

To this day, the pain of losing my dad exists. I still grieve, but it’s a different sadness. You go through many stages of sadness when losing a parent. The first one is realizing that you can’t talk or see them anymore. Then you start thinking about all things they’ll miss out on seeing. My dad, so far, has missed my college graduation, my first published article, my first real heartbreak, my first real job, and the list goes on.

Time does heal all, and the pain does subside, eventually. From my own personal experience, I don’t think you ever fully get over losing a parent. You kind of just learn to live with their absence.

5. Never forget

For as long as I live I’ll never forget my dad’s corny jokes, I’ll never forget his laugh, I’ll never forget his favorite sayings, I’ll never forget his cursing at the T.V. during Real Madrid games, I’ll never forget him.

Remembering someone is what keeps them alive. People only truly die when you decide to never think about them again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Fernanda is a native New Yorker who loves tea, fuzzy socks and stories

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