‘Conclave’ Is Not Just A Stuffy Old Man Drama And You Should Watch It Immediately – Here’s Why
You may have heard of a certain movie that came out this autumn. With intrigue to spare, an iconic friend duo at its core, misogynistic politicians, and a wicked soundtrack, it’s unsurprisingly a real crowd-pleaser.
Oh, I’m not talking about Wicked, by the way. Did y’all think I was talking about Wicked? I’m referencing, of course, another long, semi-allegorical film that is attracting Oscar buzz. I’m talking about Conclave. Directed by Edward Berger, the film follows Dean Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes) who, despite his name, is not the headmaster of a private school, but an administrative leader of the Papacy. When the Pope dies of a heart attack, he must organize the next voting body – or conclave – to select the holy man’s replacement. This is harder than it sounds, as Lawrence must appease multiple egos and uncover widespread corruption before finally selecting whichever old male geezer will be making executive decisions about Catholic women’s bodies for the next thirty years.
If that sounds boring, you’re wrong! Here are four reasons why.
1. It’s as pulpy as reality TV
Conclave may ostensibly be about choosing God’s spokesperson for the Catholic Church, but it’s really just The Real Housewives of Vatican City: The Reunion Episode. These men are catty! They can’t get through a dinner without someone making a scene (or, at the very least, an unnecessary speech); they’re all secretly jealous of each other; and they spend hours getting ready, even if it’s just to walk down the hall. Also, Stanley Tucci is Dean Lawrence’s bestie in this movie, and any movie starring Stanley Tucci is automatically a rom-com.
2. It’s shot with the attention to detail of a documentary
This movie really had me convinced that its production had filmed inside the Sistine Chapel. That’s how good the set design is. Beyond that, Conclave is also packed with rituals and Vatican Lore, delivering multiple Easter Eggs about the Vatican Extended Universe. For instance, did you know that Popes get their own magical ring that imbues them with the authority to control millions of people? Just like Thanos! Also, visiting cardinals have their own dorms in the Vatican, and only certain cardinals can sit at certain lunch tables, much akin to the cafeteria in Mean Girls. On Wednesdays they wear red! (Also, every other day.) In general, though, the research that has gone into this movie is apparent, and even if Conclave isn’t a perfect recreation of what goes on inside Vatican City, it’s close.
3. One badass lady has an excellent mic drop moment
It’s actually a bit shocking to realize while watching this movie that there are still no female cardinals in the Catholic Church. In fact, the nuns of Conclave are literally relegated to the kitchen in non-speaking roles. Plus, whenever a cardinal flirts with the idea of a woman possessing any form of autonomy or influence, he immediately laughs it off, convinced that he’s losing his mind. The modern-day Vatican is basically Mad Men. That said, there’s one nun in Conclave (Isabella Rossellini) who pulls off a reveal so incredibly monumental that she gets her own mic drop moment. Of course, she’s not actually holding a mic that she can drop in this moment, so she just sassily curtsies and shuffles away. Still, it’s giving Chaotic Neutral and I’m living.
*The next entry contains spoilers*
4. The ending of Conclave is a trans allegory
Depending on how you look at it, the twist ending of Conclave is either pro-trans or completely meaningless. I won’t completely spoil it for you, but it involves a cardinal deciding not to go through with an operation to change his reproductive organs, even though he isn’t fully comfortable with those reproductive organs. Now, if you’re looking for a political message, then you’ll focus on the fact that this character is subsequently accepted by his coworker despite having superficial similarities to a trans person. Otherwise, this is just a shocking extraordinary ending that could even be read as anti-trans by the wrong people. Let’s not give them any ideas. Either way, the ending is so out-of-left-field that it’s worth experiencing it for yourself. After all, this movie might get Oscar nominations for Writing, Acting (Ralph Fiennes), and Production Design at the very least. If you watch it yourself, then you’ll be able to say that you saw at least one Oscar-nominated movie without lying!
