If he exhibits any of these signs, he’s the real deal. Lock this grown-ass man down (if you haven’t already).

1. He has goals for the future. He has a general idea of what he wants to do and where he wants to go.

2. He never makes you feel like his mom. He doesn’t need someone to pick up after him or to encourage him to meet his potential. He’s a grown-ass man and he does that on his own.

3. When a waiter brings his food or refills his glass, he says ‘thank you.’ He tips well and generally treats service people like they are human beings worthy of his respect.

4. He doesn’t make you guess if he’s seeing other people. He’s willing and able to have a conversation about what you are and where you see the relationship going.

5. He makes you feel like you are beautiful and attractive. You’re more secure than ever because he never makes you feel like you have to work for him to be attracted to you. He loves your body — and tells you this, out loud.

6. You never worry about who texts who first.

7. He’s interested in things that aren’t just video games and TV. He reads or he volunteers or he gets out and does something that he’s passionate about. He’s not just collapsing on the couch every night.

8. He keeps his home reasonably clean and stocked with the things he needs. He knows how to cook a dish or two and isn’t totally reliant on take-out and cleaning services.

9. He can have a conversation with someone he vehemently disagrees with without raising his voice.

10. If you go on a trip, he offers to pick you up at the airport. If you’re sick, he asks what he can bring you. In little, everyday ways he demonstrates that he wants to be your person.

11. He introduces you to his friends and talks you up. He cares about his friends liking you because he hopes in the future you’ll all share a social circle.

12. He knows what his credit score is, even if it’s not as high as he’d like it to be. He’s an adult who cares about his financial health.

13. You two have fights, but they’re reasonable disagreements between two adults. You still feel like you have a healthy relationship, even after you’ve been annoyed at each other.

14. This is because above all, he treats you like you’re on the same team. He doesn’t view you as an enemy or someone who’s trying to limit his freedom or get you to do something he doesn’t want you do. He wants to do what’s best for both of you, not just for him.

15. You don’t worry about infidelity. You just know he wouldn’t.

16. He remembers the details. Little things you say in passing make their way into his memory recall. He knows your birthday, he knows the name of your best friend, he asks you about work when he remembers you had a nerve-wracking meeting you were anticipating.

17. He asks you deep questions. Not, ‘what is your favorite color?’ but actually deep questions about who you are as a person. He wants to know who you are at your core and that you two share some of the same values and want the same things in the future. He’s interested to know if he could grow old with you.

18. He’ll read a book just because it’s your favorite.

19. He builds you up instead of tearing you down. He doesn’t make negative comments about you. Why would he? He’s clear that he thinks you are a catch and he’s into you.

20. He keeps in regular contact. If he goes away for the weekend he checks in. He wants to know how your day is or at least hear your voice or read your texts, even if things are hectic and busy in his life.

21. He feels lucky that someone like you would be with him, in the same way that you feel lucky to have found such a quality guy.