31 People Answer ‘What Is Something You Love In Bed, But Are Too Embarrassed To Tell Your Partner’

I compiled the very best responses for this question on AskReddit.

1. I want it rough, but they get freaked out

I love having my hair pulled. Bitten. Pushed around. Told what to do. Nothing too rough, not saying I want to get slapped or punched or anything…but being bitten really hard whilst having my hair pulled just makes me go insane.

And I love scratching backs. To the point of bleeding. Mmmm.

Don’t have an SO but even people that I’ve had one night stands with that I’ve told just haven’t put the effort in or act freaked out. It bothers me a lot…Makes me feel weird for liking that sort of stuff and I just deal with doing the standard stuff

2. I’m too self conscious to ask

I like my tits slapped. I’m usually very open with what I like (even the odd ones like omorashi), but I find the way they hang when I’m on my knees to be unattractive, and don’t really want to draw his attention to it.

3. I wish she would dominate me

I wish she was more dominant sometimes. I have a slow libido and don’t get turned on by teasing, I’d rather just be grabbed and her have her way with me.

But sadly she’s too submissive.

4. My partner isn’t open to anything

pretty much everything. she is pretty vanilla

5. I want her to play with my butt

When receiving oral, sometimes I just want a bit of ass play. I think about it so much while it’s happening but can never just say “touch my butthole please”.

6. Yeah…

I love being choked while getting fucked. Something about that just does it for me.

7. Power dynamics

It’s kinda vanilla, but I’d love to get slapped across the face and spit on while I’m fucking my SO.

Also get really turned on by the idea of my SO being fully clothed and me being naked while we fuck.

8. I just want some oral

“Can I have some oral please?”

For whatever God damned reason I am comfortable enough to request rape play and choking, but I can’t work up the nerve to actively request oral.

9. I want her to keep her clothes on

I really want my fiancee to stay dressed up during sex, she will dress up then just strip before the actual sex. If you are dressed as a slutty nurse then I wanna fuck a slutty nurse.

10. I just want her to WANT it

I feel that 19 out of 20 times I’m always initiating sex. I would really like it for her to, every once in a while, just grab me by the crotch on a random weekend afternoon with that “it’s on” look.

11. Anal

I’ve been wanting to try anal with my girlfriend for a while, the closest we got was one night I let her peg me and in return I’d get to return the favor, except when time finally came for my chance I barely even get the head of my dick on her ass when she screams bloody murder and we stop…

12. My fantasy is rape

Rape play, specifically where she makes a slow transition from a struggling, angry victim to silent, passive denial to loud and eager indulgence and dirty talk. I’d never really hurt anyone that way and even fake crying would kill the mood, but as a role playing thing its always been a fantasy for me.

13. My husband won’t try anal :(

Ass play on my husband! He hates it

14. I want another woman in bed with us

I am bisexual and I love being with another woman while my SO watches but I was always afraid to mention it while we (my ex and I) were together out of fear they would think I was using it as an excuse to sleep with someone else.

15. I want a threesome

I like MFM threesomes a lot, but I have absolutely no desire to try it with my SO since I’m not into cuckoldry.

16. Dirty talk

Not just any dirty talk, like ‘oh, I’m such a fucking slut,’ no. I want the most debasing, wanton words out of her mouth. A stream of slutty confessions that would make the likes of Hiedi Fleiss or Pam Anderson blush. Degrading, humiliating things that she would never do in real life, but I want to hear her imply she would because I just bring those kind of desires out in here…

I like words.

17. I want to be tickled

I have a tickle fetish. I’ve been wanting to ask my long term bf to just tie me up and.. well you get the idea. But I’m so afraid of his reaction. Help?

18. I want to be more active in bed

I [F] want to do things to him.

It reeeeally turns me on to turn a guy on actively. To have him get horny(er) because of something I’m actually doing TO him. Not just because I’m nice looking and provide a vagina.

I’ve really enjoyed fingering butts, sucking balls, giving blowjobs, licking/nibbling nipples, biting, light scratching, nibbling ears, licking ears, massages, licking inner thigh… probably more that I’ve forgotten about. But really, if I doesn’t outright disgust me (and only a few things do that I can think of) and it turns him on, I’ll find it the sexiest thing EVAR. It’s less about what I’m doing exactly and more that something I’m doing is turning him on.

It makes me sad that I now just sit there during sex. Trying to thrust back being the only thing I’m allowed to do just isn’t particularly enthralling. I still want and can enjoy the sex well enough, but it’ll never be mind blowing again unless something changes. Sigh.

I actually have tried to express it before, but it just made sex harder to come by and more anxiety ridden for him. I try hard not to ask for anything in the bedroom anymore for fear of scaring him off of sex entirely. I don’t even ask for sex at all anymore. Too much pressure.

19. I want him to tell my my kegels are paying off

I just want him to tell me I’m tight. I’ve heard it before and I do my Kegels. Dammit, it’s an amazing ego boost and I’ve complemented him similarly… I just can’t seem to give him the words I want to hear. The best I get is, “we fit great together” god dammit that’s not even close!!!

20. Feet stuff

Pretty vanilla but oh, them feet. And I’ve never been with a girl with full bush but I’ve always wanted to try it, idk might be I’d hate it but it still feels weird to ask her to grow it.

21. I want her to pee her pants on top of me

I want her to put on her cutest panties, straddle me, and piss herself. I want to watch her panties get soaked, and the stream falling off of them, and feel it soaking into my shorts.

She knows I like pee play, but it skeeves her out, so I don’t bring it up.

22. I want him to stop being so nice

Anything where I’m the submissive one. So, being told what to do, choking, anal, rough play, dirty talk, being talked down to, face fucking, DP, etc etc…

Last BF, I asked him about anal – he was grossed out and refused. Clearly not going to ask for anything about that. Sex was still good but I definitely was thinking about way different stuff then what was actually happening.

It sucks because I’m 32 and have yet to date a guy who is into any of this. I always date the nice guys so they just can’t bring themselves to do any of this. But dear god do I want it all

23. I want to pretend we are cats

cat ears… tail too, m…meow >_>;

tried broaching in the past, but got the kind of reaction that makes you want to immediately drop it and never bring it up again

24. A three-way

I don’t know if I like it because I haven’t had it yet, but another woman would be absolutely swell! Not sure how you make that happen in a natural, normal way, but I’m willing to find out

25. I want to play with my boyfriend’s ass

Doing butt stuff with him on the receiving end. I’ve gone farther with my current SO than anyone else but I’m really into the thought of going even further.

26. Knife play

Rape fantasies. Hardcore BDSM. Possible knife play.

And yet the most I’ve gotten was some choking and being tied up.

27. Rim jobs

Rimming. Love to do it to women, but sadly most women I get into the bedroom think that’s gross. Maybe it is, but I still like doing it.

28. Anything

I asked a boyfriend once about kink and he politely responded “no” to all of it. I was pretty sad.

29. Other people

I really love the idea of having an audience, but my protective and shy girlfriend would never let that happen :(

30. She has short hair, I want her to pretend she is a twink

I have my girlfriend dress up really tom-boyish and I like her with short hair. The more like a guy the better. We role play about meeting up at a gay club and I take her (him) back to mine for drinks. We pretend shes a gay twink, while I ravage her from behind. Sometimes we throw on gay porn while I take her from behind.

31. Lesson for everyone — talk about it sooner rather than later!

38 years old, been with my SO for 7.5 years and just two days ago had the guts to actually tell her what I liked in bed.
She told me as well.

Last night we had the best sex of our relationship.

Seven and a half years… Ugh. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Erin Cossetta

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