7. A human being

I used to work as a waitress throughout high school. We had one lone man come in in the afternoon who was particularly difficult. He complained that there was nothing on the menu that he wanted to eat and our prices were too expensive. After patiently trying to give him suggestions of popular dishes or specials, he tried to tried to negotiate the prices on things – offering to pay half of the price listed on the menu. I told him that I wasn’t authorized to make changes to the prices on the menu, but that I would get my manager to come over and speak with him. After him trying to dicker with my manager (who is also extremely patient), she told him simply that the prices listed were the prices that they charge for the food and if he wasn’t happy with the selection or pricing there were plenty of other restaurants in town he could eat at. He ended up ordering something off the menu, I served him (pleasantly and promptly) and brought him his bill. When I came back to get payment from him he left the exact change for his bill on the table. He then took a nickel, spit on it, told me that was my tip and threw it on the ground under the table. I told my manager and she escorted him out of the restaurant told him he wasn’t welcome at her restaurant anymore.

8. OMG

I had a table of 5 that consisted of middle aged people of mixed gender leave a used maxi pad on the table.

9. Parenting skills

Loud, screaming child hurls their meal at the server’s feet. The mother looks up at the server and rudely tells her “I guess you’re gonna need to get her something else and clean that up”. The kid spent the entire meal screaming and jumping all over the booth. At the end of the meal, they want dessert and the parents say no, since she hadn’t eaten her dinner. Mother of the year decides that she’s going to eat the kid’s dessert right in front of her. The kid then began screaming things such as “I’m going to fucking kill you” and “I fucking hate you, you asshole”.

10. We don’t serve that here…

I worked at an all night diner for a year. I have a story for every night I was there, but one really stands out in my memory. There was an old guy who came several times a week. He was very quiet, and always sat in my section. One night he confessed that he came in just to see me. That same night he went into detail about his job before he retired. He was head of a breast milk research facility(they have those?), and swore that he could guess the size of any woman’s fun bags based on his previous experience. He guessed my size perfectly. He went on to explain the uses of breast milk in healthy adult life including his habit of drinking donated colostrum to prevent illness. He asked if I was currently lactating.

11. Cringe

Cheap ass owner had us recycle salsa.