You’ve probably grown to think that your vulnerability, sensitivity, and quickness to forgive makes you weak. It doesn’t. The only thing making you weak is fearing the loss of the right people. That never truly happens because if someone chooses to leave, or if they constantly have one foot out the door, they are not the right people. So, fear not.
It’s officially okay to always be the one that loves more.
You become the one that loves more in the little things. They will tell you their favorite song and instead of shelving it on your playlist, you’ll listen to it and read along to the lyrics and try to find out why it’s their favorite. You will think of them every time you hear the first few notes. You will seek it out when you begin to miss them. You will play it for them when they’re in the car.
You become the one that loves more in the heat of the moment. You will hurt them, and they will hurt you. You will always try to see past your own pain to theirs. What are they going through? How can I help? Even when they cut you deep, you always try to think of the root of their pain. You think of the first time they ever got hurt when they were just a little kid. You will feel a protectiveness over their inner child and forgive quickly, sometimes to a fault.
You will become the one that loves more even when it’s destructive. This is the most dangerous type of give with no take. You won’t be able to make room for them because they will carve it out themselves via their demands. You will try and try to make your love enough for this person, but it never will be. You will then learn that you can still be the one who loves more, only this time it will be love for yourself as you walk away.
You will become the one that loves more most importantly when you realize the part you play in hurting others. You will make yourself aware of every possible chance you have to affect another’s emotions and you will overthink yourself senseless. But you will recognize the times you hurt others whether in the moment or in hindsight. You will try to make amends because that’s what you do when you are the one who loves more. You will get used to not expecting the same back, but you will forgive those people for it anyway.
You are not weak or naïve. The difference with you is that you see the distinction between money and love. The more you spend, the more there is. The more you spend, the more you will have to pass down for the next generation to inherit. The more you spend, the richer you will become.
That’s why no matter the amount of pain, broken and bruised hearts, sufferings, or villains in disguise that come your way, you can still be the one who loves more.
You will keep getting up and spreading love. And that is the only way to always be the one who loves more.