“My friend answered his doctor once by just saying ‘I go to an engineering school.'”
23. Infected Penis Wound
“So I was taking care of a guy who had an infected wound on his penis. He didn’t get it checked out right away, picked at it and tried to take care of it without having to see a doc, because of course that’s embarrassing to a lot of people. Finally he realized things were not going well and he ended up admitted to the hospital with a horrible wound. Bad enough a surgeon had to go in, remove some dead tissue, and we, the nurses, got to change the dressing twice a day. This wound was the type that had to have gauze placed in the wound bed, called “packing”. It’s painful and uncomfortable for patients no matter where the wound is, but you can imagine how this poor fellow felt about it.
He told his doc he wasn’t sexually active. So the first night I take care of him, as I’m doing the dressing change, I ask him if he has any questions. Eventually he’ll go home and have to do that himself, so while doing wound care I typically narrate what I’m doing and make sure patients can ask questions. Because of the nature of this wound, I had pre-medicated him with some IV narcotic, so he was a little loopy.
He tells me he just can’t figure out why he has this wound. So I start going through some standard questions. Do you have any other infected wounds, are you around anyone who has infected wounds. Come to discover, he had been regularly getting some hand jobs from a gal who was a meth head and who had some open wounds on her face and forearms. I told him that’s where he likely got it from, and he responded “but I wasn’t rubbing my dick on her arms or her face!”
So I said ‘no, but she probably touched or picked at those sores before she jerked you off. If she didn’t wash her hands well between touching her sores and giving you a hand job, she spread those germs to you.’ He had no clue. He had no idea he should have included this information in his sexual history, and he had no practical understanding of how germs are spread.
But please remember the entire scene. I’ve got this guy’s penis in my gloved hand, cleaning and packing this bad wound that doesn’t smell great, has a little yucky drainage, and I’m discussing jerking off and hand jobs. Im down within a foot or so of his penis, because his wound tunnels a bit and I’ve got to use a Q-tip and delicately stuff this gauze tape into a sensitive area. I’m a moderately attractive gal about his age. I wasn’t embarrassed, I’m a matter of fact sort of person and I wanted this guy to understand how to take care of himself and stay clean. He wasn’t embarrassed, he really wanted to understand and he was also high on fentanyl. But it was a little absurd and made me laugh in retrospect, because I assume most people don’t handle other people’s genitals or talk about hand jobs at work.”