25. The Voyeur
Not my child…but, my 3 yo niece told my wife to dance in the middle of the room while she hid in a closet watching through the crack in the door.
26. Where Did She Get This?
My daughter said to me that there is a woman who watches her watch movies in her room and sleeps on the ceiling above her bed when she sleeps. she also says it dose not like me and wants to eat my heart. my kid watches Elmo and fucking Dinosaur Train. where in the hell did she get this from?
27. Missing Harvey
When my little sister was younger she used to walk around the house with a picture frame with a picture of my great grandpa in her hands crying and saying “I miss you Harvey.” Harvey had died before even I was born. Other than this common occurrence my mom told me that she would constantly say things that my great grandma Lucy would say.
28. Down In The Hole
I have a three year old who says some pretty strange stuff….
Last night: “Mommy.. the man, the very big man with big yellow eyes is looking at you.”
I look.. nothing. I tell him there is no man and he is make-believe. My son laughs, “Oh he is hiding now.” — 2 minutes later, “Oh no Mommy, you made him very mad. Now he says he will come when you are sleeping.”
Few weeks ago he tells me, “I’m not going to be four. I’m doing to die. And you will put me down, down, down in the hole.” I tell him that isn’t true, and who told him that. He gets quiet and goes, “The man told me. But I will be scared, so after three night-nights you die too and come with me.”
Sheesh. As if I didn’t have bad dreams already.
29. The Digger
My four-year-old nephew doesn’t talk much. But when he does, he says some of the weirdest things. Best one I can think of off the top of my head:
He was outside playing near the edge of his parents’ yard, digging holes with a little plastic shovel in the dirt. He looked very focused and was making each hole the same size and shape. His mom went outside to check on him, and asked “Hey there Z, whatcha diggin’ for?”
He looked her right in the eyes, and with a completely straight face said, “My soul.“