9. The Archer And The Thief
I do traditional archery. I also sleep naked. These will be relevant points in about twenty seconds.
My last house wasn’t in the nicest of neighborhoods. Not bad, but not really the kind of place you want to leave a door unlocked. Luckily for me, I remembered to lock the door…but forgot that I’d burned something in the oven earlier and left the kitchen window cracked.
At this point, I lived alone with my two cats, but my tom might as well be a guard dog. About two in the morning, I heard my cat going apeshit in the living room, and I knew something was up. So I grabbed my bow off of the wall (40# recurve, I keep it strung, and now some archer’s gonna yell at me for it) and knocked an arrow.
Walked into the living room quietly, flipped on the light, and behold…a young man half-in, half-out of my kitchen window, straddling it like a horse. It’s not an easy window to climb through, the sill is about at eye-level.
Drew back to my anchor, lined up my shot, and said “Wrong house, motherfucker!”
He stared at me completely dumbfounded/terrified for a moment. Considering that he’d just been caught in the act of breaking into a house by a 6’2″ bow wielding woman wearing nothing but socks, I think he handled himself quite well actually. He promptly rolled out of my window and beat feet.
Drew down, rehung my bow, got dressed, and called the police. I don’t think they believed me, and the guy was never found.
10. The Setup
My older sister had left with her “friends” I didn’t want to go because I was sick so I stayed home playing games. Not long after I saw a few guys with masks and beanies walk out of my sisters room. I stood up scared one of them punched me in the ribs a few times and threw me in the bathroom while one of them stood watch with a pocket knife to make sure I didn’t do anything.
Two were in the living room stealing my Wii and PS3. Then my sister and her “Friends” got home and she rang the door bell scaring off the two in the house and they left all the games and their backpacks. My sister came in through the open window. The one in the bathroom was freaking out then my sister opened the bathroom door and pushed him into the wall (his back was against the door when she opened it).
At that point I rushed him and repeatedly punched him in the face while he was in a headlock. He got free and ran out of the window they came in. Her “Friends” outside just let him run. We call the cops and they take the backpack which has the robbers names in it. It turns out the people who were her “Friends” had actually set it up so that they could rob us. They are all in jail now for various things.