20. Burglar Meets Sword
I was living in Las Vegas at the time and I have always a night person. I was asleep in my bed when i heard banging at my door around 10am. I was still really tired, but decided to just go see who the hell was beating at my door. (I assumed it was my friend being a dick) When I go to look out the peep hole, I saw no one there. Pissed off that i just imagined someone beating at my door, i went back to my bed. Three min later I hear someone messing with my window. Confused, thinking it was probably maintenance fixing something, I slightly opened a slat of my vertical blinds to see what was going on. I see a man walking away with my window screen. Still a little confused i sat back on my bed, but suddenly realized I never received a notice of work, nor asked for any.
By this time the guy (Mr. Burglar) came back and i heard what sounded like him trying to pry my window open. I kept a decorative sword by my bed, so I grabbed it, unsheathed it and braced my back against the wall next to the window remaining out of sight from Mr. Burglar. He popped my window open and took his hands to slowly open a view from my blinds. Adrenaline had begun to pump into my veins like nitrous to a car. I raised my sword and blindly stabbed it out the window. Missed his eye by an inch. Mr. Burglar fell back into the bush under my window allowing my to swing again. It landed, but being a decoration, it just merely cut his jacket. He got up and ran like the wind as I yelled at the top of my lungs “GTFO OF MY HOUSE”.
After 10 min of cooling down, I call the police. Operator asked why I waited so long to call. I told her i couldn’t find my phone. Police showed up, asked questions, and the asked if I thought about being a cop.
21. Nearly Abducted
I was very young, 3 years old, my older brother was 14. My mom and dad slept upstairs. A burglar (my nanny’s brother) broke into the house at night through my brother’s open window and he screamed. The robber got him in a choke hold and held a knife to his throat. When he took my brother into the hallway he looked up to see my fat, British, naked father standing on the other side with a .357 magnum trained on his head. The robber made it out of the house alive and my father didn’t take the shot as he ran away from the house, as that is illegal here in California. My brother, who is now 36, still sleeps with a night light. Later it was discovered that the burglar’s intent was to abduct me because we were moving away from Los Angeles and my nanny didn’t want to let me go…