48 Waiters Share The Most Cringeworthy Dates They’ve Ever Witnessed

41. Her Reaction Was On Point

Not a waiter but am a foodrunner in a restaurant. We’ve had some bad ones, but there was one that came in about a month ago that was fucking awful.

So, the guy is cool enough. I drop off their appetizer and he automatically asks what I suggest, then starts a conversation about video games. They’re super nice, to the point where I go to our manager and tell him, because as a small restaurant we often do nice things for guests to grow our list of regulars. I had suggested the salmon, and they both ordered the salmon.

Now, the restaurant I work in is a top class sushi joint, and fish is shipped in fresh, always on ice, from Loch Duart, perfectly fine every single time. I don’t think there has ever been a single case of food poisoning, which is pretty nice for a sushi restaurant with several years under its belt. Well, apparently eating the salmon destroyed this dude’s stomach, demanded it for free, was furious that his girlfriend was now going to be up all night with stomach pains from eating it. You may have noticed that the girlfriend hasn’t said anything yet.

Strange move, but our manager sends out freshly cut salmon sashimi (just the raw fish and nothing else) to prove it’s fine. Of course, he eats it and says its worse than before. He leaves to smoke, but the girl stays behind.

Turns out, it’s their first date. Girl is super pissed he left to smoke in the middle of their first date, asks her server almost in tears if that’s a normal thing. She apologizes for his behavior and says she just wants to get out as soon as possible before something happens and to please bring dessert and the check.

He comes back, we drop the dessert and check on the table, and while walking away I hear him pissed that she wants to leave. I don’t hear the rest of the convo, but I do watch and listen as she stands up, screams YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, BRIAN!”, knocks everything (EVERYTHING) off the table and storms off. FuckingassholeBrian pays the bill, tips like 7%, and leaves. There was only one other table in the restaurant at this time, it being almost an hour after close, and the only one laughing louder than us was them.

42. Oops!

The dinner went normally. Just a man and a woman having dinner, obviously affectionate and on a date. As I am putting another table’s order in at the computer, the man races over to me and says, “I need to pay RIGHT NOW. I am on a date, and my wife just walked in.”

43. Completely Clueless

This guy with a reputation for not tipping brought his date in to my restaurant. He hit on me in front of her the entire night, she was clearly not happy with him. He wrote a zero in the tip line then on the back of the receipt left a phone number with a note… “Hey cutie ;) call/text me sometime.”

Then there is the guy whose date got so wasted she fell asleep at the bar and he left her there.

44. Manager Is A Saint

Was not my table, but I saw a guy get declined when he proposed… Manager comped his entire ticket, and his date left without him… It was sad and awkward.

45. The Champagne Volcano

I used to work at a Cheesecake Bistro in Richmond, VA. One of my first days on the floor, an african american couple came in and sat in my section. The first date vibe was palpable, as he was so overly-gentlemanly and “smooth”. His blind confidence hit the fan when she asked for Mimosa (champagne and OJ), and he stopped her and ordered “a bottle of good champagne, 2 flutes (champagne glasses, but NOBODY says that), and a glass of orange juice.

I started to open the champagne, but after the foil was off, he said “allow me”, and gave her a funny grin that was supposed to seem confident but was so over acted it lost that effect. I stood back ready to assist, but he managed to pop the cork and it landed in the booth behind her after arcing up in the air, and after the poor woman he was with cringing and flailing in fear of being hit. I just smiled and said “Bravo!” to lighten the mood and help him out, then left the rest of the items (glasses and OJ), and went back to get their salads.

Oh my way back from the kitchen, I heard the sound of water pouring, and nearly everyone in the restaurant was rubber-necking … in the direction of my table. This is when I realized I had made a terrible assumption when I figured he was going to pour the OJ into the champagne glasses and then pour the champagne…

As I came around the corner, what I saw was absolute horror on both of their faces, and on the table between them, a champagne and orange juice volcano shooting out of the bottle. This was epic. Science fair kids, eat your hearts out.

The date went on ok, and they both managed to avoid getting anything more than a splash on them. They seemed to be happy when they left, but my god, a $300 champagne volcano. That was priceless.


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  • http://radiatepositivelife.wordpress.com Natali

    This was probably the most entertaining thing I will read all week!!!

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